The Pain That Drains

It's hard
not to cry
I really do try
i even got high
and lied
looking into the sky
nothing will ever clarify
my feelings just multiply
no i can not specify
but my emotions will not be justify
thereby i must try something new
just to get through
it does not feel as if it is true
i have no clue
i just want it to be threw
no one sees my point of view
if they do
they don"t say
anyway
i must throwaway every memory
sad to say i can not act as if anything has not happened
its just saddened
i cant help but imagined
nothing works
no one to talk to
yes the sky is still blue
i have grew
just wish i can redo
its really fucked up
i want to cut
the grudge is too strong
lost i feel
emotions no longer sealed
i cant even eat a meal
shit this is real
my heart may never heal
just alone i will be
feeling like im oversea
nobody
i don't even know me
im so different now
i wish i didn't allow
but how
when she wanted everything and anything
this shit stings
now i suffer
but in a way it makes me tougher
it also makes me never want to trust or love
just need to shove
me above
if i don't get trough this
i wont be-able to handle the pain
it will just have me on a chain
i will be drained
its a shame