deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Submissive
The Submissive
“They say a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can't stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that's a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it!”
― C. JoyBell C.
Those words are utterances,
hazelnuts
crushed beneath the weight of his hand
and I am shared, amongst his fantasies, between his tales, beneath his carnal need.
He quietens me
with his baritone and blazing eyes and binds.
We slip in moments
of softness before he sodomises me.
Those pleas fly about like arrows,
there - smothered beneath the cause for concern
and, inhaling the stark human I've come to know, he loves me.
In his own way,
he erects a pool of silence between us
and fashions a lifeguard of himself
when I am too close to drowning in it.
“They say a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can't stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that's a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it!”
― C. JoyBell C.
Those words are utterances,
hazelnuts
crushed beneath the weight of his hand
and I am shared, amongst his fantasies, between his tales, beneath his carnal need.
He quietens me
with his baritone and blazing eyes and binds.
We slip in moments
of softness before he sodomises me.
Those pleas fly about like arrows,
there - smothered beneath the cause for concern
and, inhaling the stark human I've come to know, he loves me.
In his own way,
he erects a pool of silence between us
and fashions a lifeguard of himself
when I am too close to drowning in it.
Published 28th Aug 2015
| Edited 14th Jun 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 13
reading list entries 1
comments 12
reads 2324
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
28th Aug 2015 1:57pm
Poppy I read this in the comp. and must say what a beautiful submissive write this is..
with love and respect Crim
with love and respect Crim
28th Aug 2015 1:59pm
28th Aug 2015 4:49pm
"He quietens me
with his baritone and blazing eyes and binds."
~both soothing & sexy..
"fashions a lifeguard of himself
when I am too close to drowning in it."
~you've gone & epitomized submissive.. perfect damn phrasing darlins..
Your "he calls me his little basketcase.." ..is a win by awwes/shivers fer me. Easy pace & seductive in extremes!
* irish luckees to your comp entry,
~d
with his baritone and blazing eyes and binds."
~both soothing & sexy..
"fashions a lifeguard of himself
when I am too close to drowning in it."
~you've gone & epitomized submissive.. perfect damn phrasing darlins..
Your "he calls me his little basketcase.." ..is a win by awwes/shivers fer me. Easy pace & seductive in extremes!
* irish luckees to your comp entry,
~d
31st Aug 2015 9:01am
Thank you, Darksighs. I am glad this went down so well - (also thank you for your luck!)
29th Aug 2015 7:40am
the burning: I've encountered that w/JoyBell & Anais Nin, & w/your work here, hence, the pool is necessary...
31st Aug 2015 9:02am
29th Aug 2015 9:43am
...skill you have with character studies....seems like you do it again and again, and they have been getting noticeably better and better...
I like that you've also eased up on the pretty lines....makes them stand out more fully when you do it not so forcefully....the strong images in this piece are a fine example.
I like your throttle control.
h.
I like that you've also eased up on the pretty lines....makes them stand out more fully when you do it not so forcefully....the strong images in this piece are a fine example.
I like your throttle control.
h.
31st Aug 2015 9:04am
Always a work in progress, H. I was reflecting on old writes a month or two ago, felt mostly cringe-worthy for me. I don't want to reflect another year on with the same feeling, so changing it up. Thank you for getting on board, for the reading list and for the compliments, I appreciate it all.
29th Aug 2015 8:49pm
First, I love C. JoyBell C. enough to quote more often than not. Secondly, this paints dangerously close to the relationship crossing the pond and back into the sacredness of Love's evolution. Those moments of softness are strands of shore connecting the water with the dune.
You've captured the true nature of the relationship well, and then some. Well done.
You've captured the true nature of the relationship well, and then some. Well done.
31st Aug 2015 9:05am
2nd Sep 2015 10:16pm
"He quietens me
with his baritone and blazing eyes and binds."
The word baritone just sounded out as I read this. Wonderful.
"We slip in moments
of softness before he sodomises me. "
Now you have my attention.
Haha. But there is understanding and trust underneath all of this. Like, do what you want, I know it will feel good and you will not hurt me kinda trust. Or that you will halt if it approaches that. A solid write, Stone.
with his baritone and blazing eyes and binds."
The word baritone just sounded out as I read this. Wonderful.
"We slip in moments
of softness before he sodomises me. "
Now you have my attention.
Haha. But there is understanding and trust underneath all of this. Like, do what you want, I know it will feel good and you will not hurt me kinda trust. Or that you will halt if it approaches that. A solid write, Stone.
26th May 2016 10:45pm
Restrained language beautifully complements the thrust and meaning of the poem. *Tips hat*
