Reminders

"Hey remember when you did..."
"Hey remember when you said..."
"Hey remember when you looked like..."
"Hey remember when..."
"Remember when..."
"Remember..."
 
Yes!! And I fucked up okay?!
Why can't you just let all my fuck ups die?
Can't you see the guilt on my face?
Can't you see the regret in my eyes?
Why do you insist on reminding me of what I'm trying to forget?
I live everyday, and late at night I remember everything.
Good, bad, happy, sad.
I remember everything.
But please, just stop reminding me, stop making me relive my regrets.
I suffer daily, with no escape of my mind scolding me.
I'm in constant fear of myself, of what I might do because I see myself as a total fuck up.
I write.
I read.
I listen to music.
I sleep.  
All of this is to occupy my mind with something else for once.
And here you come along and remind me.
I don't need reminders.
I don't.