deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fear and Self Loathing
It's beating a thousand times
In the space of a minute
I may exaggerate once or twice
But I find it hard to forget this
Somebody please revive me
Because I've drowned in my stupidity
It seems the only time I feel fear so engulfing
Its due to my own foolish devices
It's funny how the thoughts that come to me in my hours of need
Are those that come in my moments of shame
Those thoughts of how you've disappointed
Those thoughts of wishing you were who you were before...
Before reality took you by its claws
And dragged you into it's darkest corners
My heart runs this seemingly never ending marathon
While my life flashes before my eyes
Allowing me to go back to the beginning
To those delusions of a world of possibilities and hope
To those memories of a child destined to be shunned
And left to fester in his own self pity
And to ask "Am I so evil to deserve this?"
And begin to doubt the love of those closest
Leaving nothing but resentment
Its funny what thoughts come to you when you think it's the end
When you can do nothing but reminisce
And when the end never comes...
What then?
In the space of a minute
I may exaggerate once or twice
But I find it hard to forget this
Somebody please revive me
Because I've drowned in my stupidity
It seems the only time I feel fear so engulfing
Its due to my own foolish devices
It's funny how the thoughts that come to me in my hours of need
Are those that come in my moments of shame
Those thoughts of how you've disappointed
Those thoughts of wishing you were who you were before...
Before reality took you by its claws
And dragged you into it's darkest corners
My heart runs this seemingly never ending marathon
While my life flashes before my eyes
Allowing me to go back to the beginning
To those delusions of a world of possibilities and hope
To those memories of a child destined to be shunned
And left to fester in his own self pity
And to ask "Am I so evil to deserve this?"
And begin to doubt the love of those closest
Leaving nothing but resentment
Its funny what thoughts come to you when you think it's the end
When you can do nothing but reminisce
And when the end never comes...
What then?
Published 29th Jul 2015
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The author encourages honest critique.
29th Jul 2015 00:40am
Sounds like the beginning of a poem that may still need some editing and may even be more than one poem when broken out. But it is a great beginning for sure. You are saying something that is meaningful to you but it is hard to tell what it is as the reader.
29th Jul 2015 00:48am
