The Tale Of The Chicken Strip

Come now all you drunkies,
you junkies,
you loners
Come now all you suckups,
you fuckups,
you stoners

I'm here to share a story
that could happen to you
So come, listen closely
cos it's halfway true

I once choked to death
on a chicken strip
Paramedics revived me,
but damn,
what a trip

Got a taste of the place
where you fucks might end up
but it wasn't quite what
most of you might expect
The details were different
in every respect

Of lakes there were plenty
but they were of milk
And everyone wore robes
from the finest of silk

The closest to torture
there was to be found
was three poor dumbasses
that continued to drown

They had mountains of cookies
the crappy lemon kind
But they had bushes of bacon
so I didn't mind

There was no war, either
no sign of disease
And the central air kept it
at sixty degrees

I shook hands with Satan
he gave me a joint
It wasn't the best smoke
but it was on point

I knelt on the bank
and some fool pushed me in
And that's when I realised
that I couldn't swim

Now I'm sure you know
the events that soon followed
If not, I'm not sorry
your Mom should have swallowed