deepundergroundpoetry.com
venom
As the venom rushes in
Life ends in sin
With a push from a fang
Feel the pain life will change
Noone could know I let go
Nature must have taken me
The sun will shine Upon me
Noone could know I let go
Nature must have taken me
And as I cry before I die
Things won't stop in my mind
Now the heart slows it's time to go
What's next eternity
The sun will shine Upon me
Life ends in sin
With a push from a fang
Feel the pain life will change
Noone could know I let go
Nature must have taken me
The sun will shine Upon me
Noone could know I let go
Nature must have taken me
And as I cry before I die
Things won't stop in my mind
Now the heart slows it's time to go
What's next eternity
The sun will shine Upon me
Published 18th Jul 2015
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Anonymous
- Edited 26th Jul 2015 10:18am
26th Jul 2015 10:17am
what happened here? Did the person commit suicide with a snake? I like the heavy music, and the words are fairly interesting, but the singing doesn't match the mood very well when you scream "the sun will shine upon me" The tone is pain and anger there in that line and makes me wonder if the sunshine is a BAD thing. ( It might be if you're a vampire in the desert.)
Let your voice capture the mood of each line,
I'm still working on the soft parts, it's just a rough draft right now, but yes suicide by rattler, or heroin if you prefer. "The sun will shine upon me" that glorious day where my final pain is my last. Thank you for listening
