First Love

Pushed to the side and neglected
Alienated from the serendipity of Nirvana
A Christian young man but a hypocrite due to coveting
I covet what should be mine.
This has led to a pyschadelic state of perpetual pain.
Torn between friendship and an opportunity of love
A love that is more than established, simply understood but yet it is cast away into oblivion.
Being with you caused a metamorphosis to occur in my life.
I became happy and unconsciously graduated from the school of philophobia.
No longer fearing the future
Just being optimistic about what once seemed inevitable.
For nearly six years I have watched you grow and continue to fall into your misconception of love with the slightest hope that I could be the one to pick you up out of that platonically confused puddle of pain.
Patiently awaiting for my destined day to finally be released from the shackles of destitution and oblivion and finally being able to scratch the surface of your heart and entering Elysium with you on my arm.
Bestfriend vs. Lover
Oh the irony!
My first true love and it is one that I cannot enjoy.
Silly me
I remember how I would help you in your relationships.
Building a foundation for another when it should have been for me.
"Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes."
You are eight letters of my bliss but also my misfortune.
T,
Time wasted with others when we should have been together.
I,
My being impuissant and not expressing and confessing my love for you as soon as it was felt.
F,
My fidelity towards you in always caring for you.
Another for my failed attempts in trying to escape the complex institution of being your friend.
A,
Signify my aspirations to be the last person you love for infinity.
N,
The never ending love that I will always have for you.
And finally Y.
Y,
My yearning to let you let me love you unconditionally showing that a fairy tale can become a reality.
The acronym now completed, I revisit the Y.
Y again for you.
You are my sense of happiness but yet the reason for my destruction.