deepundergroundpoetry.com
In the blink of an eye
skipping stones on the lake
sitting under the cherry blossom trees
feeling the wind blow gently among the leaves
watching time pass by
ripples in the lake flow with absolute bliss
cherry blossoms fall at 5 centimeters per second
wind caressing all that it may touch
all moments captured in the blink of an eye
sitting under the cherry blossom trees
feeling the wind blow gently among the leaves
watching time pass by
ripples in the lake flow with absolute bliss
cherry blossoms fall at 5 centimeters per second
wind caressing all that it may touch
all moments captured in the blink of an eye
Published 11th Jun 2015
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12th Jun 2015 00:14am
I like this write. Can actually picture myself doing what's being done "In the blink of an eye". My critique: Your consistency is excellent. There's nothing sporadic to be found. No stray punctuations and no stray caps. Every part of your poem is supportive of itself in every layering line. It's not choppy at all. Smooth as silk. Your poem is easily understood containing no ambiguity what so ever. It's fine the way it is. You've shown your strength and skill with piece. Write on!
