Relentless Anxiety (Patience)

It seems that I'll never get the chance to see the,
Day where I can just lay without disarray,
Fully aware that patience hates me still it seems to be the,
Key to life but a nigga never feeds the meter,
Too cheap.. and too busy
Every nigga every day wants their "rightful" spot right above me,
and every woman fucks me over in everyway,
Everytime,
Like there's a reason that I'm..
An asshole,
Talk shit I get fucked and humbly decline,
I see your spine but where's mine?
Im not content with showing it,
Im not content with growing it,
Only for vine,
Until I get to the point where only wine could possibly kill enough brain cells to slow this mind with bitter emotionlessness intwined,
May ask for a reason,
To myself I'll only be lying.
Can't wait til I stop,
But will you hear a gun pop when I do...?
Of cource not for you,
Your only clue...
A note could do this Job better so what am I still doing here?
I see.. it's not the only blank canvas that can handle the fear..
Of my personal anxiety..