Desperation

I threw away my afternoon pill.
I just want to be alone.
I hate being alone.
Everyone is annoying.
I hate all my friends.
I am imprisoned in my bedroom.
Done everything I could to live up to expectations.
Not worth it.
Not at all.
Hate myself.
Can't be myself.
Trapped inside my own mind.
Here I wait 'til I get the courage to die.
Suffocation.
Drowning in care and love.
Never felt more alone.
Wish I'd just do it.
Get it over with.
-"You okay?"
-"Fabulous!"
I lie.
I lie.
I lie.
I lie.
God help me.
Was I ever?
-"Don't end your life!"
How can I end what I never had?
True freedom calls.
End is closer than ever before.

To my friends:
I am so sorry.