Monster

Whose this monster I've become? The girl I once was? Who is she? Is she still apart  of me? Did she leave? Why did you leave me Sarah? You left me alone, when I needed you most. You left me to die  in a cold unfamiliar world. I was weak and you were strong. Did you just give up? Give up what you said you could provide? Did you just decide one day, to pack your bag? Leave the body you were keeping safe? Leave my mind empty, but yet so full of someone else's thoughts? Couldn't you at least leave me with nothing? Let me start over? Give me a chance? No. You couldn't, you wanted to kill all that I had left. What did I have? I can't even remember. Struggling just to breathe this poison you call air. Suffering  in a place where I can't say I'm happy, can't say I belong. Can't even say I'm wanted. Are you still watching me? Are you hidden inside, deep where I can't reach? Are you on a high crease in the back of this mind? If you are; I'm pleading to you. Please come home to me.   Complete me, make me Sarah again. I can't keep pretending I know these thoughts; because I don't. I can't keep pretending I'm someone I'm not. Hell, I can't keep pretending I know what I am, Because I don't. You left me for God's sake. What am I? Who am I? Why am I here? Are we all born to be broken sinners and stealers? I want to be different. I was, I am. I eternally  will be. If only I could figure out how. I want to make a difference. I want to mean something to someone. I want to be apart of myself. But myself is broken and tattered. How can I cling to a piece of something that I can't tell you the name of? So Sarah if you're reading this: return to the girl you once were and save this vial monster from a death just as cruel as herself.