and when the sun sets...

i fight a war within myself.
i rebel against what i am supposed to be.
i turn a blind eye to who i really am.
im lost in a world full of double standards.
im entagled in a false reality of wonderlust.
i know what i want and who i choose to be.
how i choose to love, and express myself freely.
and the constant eyes of disapproval don't phase me.
and the future consequences of present actions intrigue me.
and how i dispense my love to those who may not deserve me.
how i sacrifice my sanity for those around me.
they are conscious decisions i choose recklessly.
for a small portion of time, they make me happy.
I choose not to live in the black and white box of commonality.
for me, it's far too boring,
because in my golden years i can look back
and know i chose my life, and lived it for me,
and i wasn't another corporate monkey looking in the mirror and whispering, "why me?"
so with your eyes you can judge me,
call me an ingrate,
a whore,
a slut,
lazy,
a pacifist,
unmotivated,
whatever it may be,
because nothing you will say will ever change the fact that i am unique,
and deep inside you will remain jealous of me.