deepundergroundpoetry.com
(working title only) Killing Your Own (added 05 Mar 2015 7:45 a.m.)
Daddy walked into my room slowly and looked like he had aged twenty years since I last saw him. His head was bowed, eyes full of tears and he kept whispering, "I coulda stopped this." I couldn't question him on what he meant, I couldn't say anything and seeing Daddy so upset only increased my pain and anxiety. The monitors I was hooked up to must have alterted the nurses to my stressed state because there was a sudden flurry of activity and next thing I knew, I couldn't keep my eyes open. The last image I saw was Daddy slowly backing out of my room, his face sick with worry. Next time I woke up, I was shocked to learn I had slept for two whole days.
I spent a total of twenty-three days in that hospital bed recovering. My windpipe had pretty much been completely crushed by the strong grip of Sterns arm around my throat for so long. That was the only major damage I suffered from, some head trauma and a lot of bumps and bruises, but no major bones broken. I never did fully recover my voice and from that point on, I couldn't speak louder than a whisper. Daddy's cancer got the best of him less than two weeks after I got home from the hospital. My brother's still didn't bother to show up. The coal mining company Daddy had worked for paid off the funeral expenses and told me the little house Daddy and Mama had raised me in was mine to keep...all bills paid. I always figured it was their way of taking pity on me. Years would pass before I learned a bit of the truth.
Before Daddy had gone cold in the ground, I realized I was in a family way and I was scared. Really scared! How was I ever going to go back to school and finish my education and get out of this little coal mining mountain town now? All Mama's hopes and dreams for me now gone, shattered like my soul felt. I was only sixteen years old. I was way to young to be a mother, especially a mother under the circumstances which this pregnancy came about. Everyone in town would know I was the girl Stern Justice raped, gotten in a motherly way, then killed himself over. I wanted nothing more but to hide myself up in my little house and disappear from everyone and everything!
I spent a total of twenty-three days in that hospital bed recovering. My windpipe had pretty much been completely crushed by the strong grip of Sterns arm around my throat for so long. That was the only major damage I suffered from, some head trauma and a lot of bumps and bruises, but no major bones broken. I never did fully recover my voice and from that point on, I couldn't speak louder than a whisper. Daddy's cancer got the best of him less than two weeks after I got home from the hospital. My brother's still didn't bother to show up. The coal mining company Daddy had worked for paid off the funeral expenses and told me the little house Daddy and Mama had raised me in was mine to keep...all bills paid. I always figured it was their way of taking pity on me. Years would pass before I learned a bit of the truth.
Before Daddy had gone cold in the ground, I realized I was in a family way and I was scared. Really scared! How was I ever going to go back to school and finish my education and get out of this little coal mining mountain town now? All Mama's hopes and dreams for me now gone, shattered like my soul felt. I was only sixteen years old. I was way to young to be a mother, especially a mother under the circumstances which this pregnancy came about. Everyone in town would know I was the girl Stern Justice raped, gotten in a motherly way, then killed himself over. I wanted nothing more but to hide myself up in my little house and disappear from everyone and everything!
Published 5th Mar 2015
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5th Mar 2015 7:32pm
6th Mar 2015 6:53pm
Thanks sista!! I'm a bit stuck at how I want to tie this all up...ideals floating around just have to work them out!
