Lucky Number

Your thoughts are murky, your eyes are glazed.
Your hands- they tremble, shudder, and shake.
Your screams are silent, they're filled with regret,
Of a life once had- a life lost and buried dead.

It consumes your mind, it twists your life.
It hides your hopes away from the light.
Your dreams, once alive, are now buried among the stars.
Falling and falling, you cannot take charge.

You saw the others, saw what they had.
You begged and pleaded, you wanted it so, so bad.
This lust, it seemed, occupied your world.
It became your center of gravity, it became your...Lord.

Your eyes, once hazel, were now a sick shade of green.
You tried everything- Everything!- so envious it seemed.
Man after man kept calling your bluff,
While you ran aside and compared your neighbors' love.

"Give it up," you thought. "Love isn't for you."
This, however, was nothing new.
The green eyed monster turned into greed,
You searched for money, for promises, for anything.

Failed attempts again and again, your heart shattered and black,
Now filled with anger and wrath, you knew for a fact.
Once money, you found a more potent vice
To chase away your sorrows, your doubts, and your lies.

Your vice, your addiction, the love of your life.
You could not stop, you would not stop.
This laziness consumed you, now a sloth.
You fought to stay happy, you fought to stay lost.

You binged and gorged, so lost in this world.
The gluttony led you to more and more.
You didn't see, you didn't care,
Just took and took- falling deeper, you dared.

They warned you- they did- but you just ignored.
This growing pride consumed who you were.
Too buried to stop, to proud to admit,
You missed and dodged the help you must get.

Your vision is blurring- the tears, they don't help.
They pour like a waterfall, they drown you 'till you melt.
You won't look in the mirror, too scared of what you'll see-
For the vision will haunt you- you can never be free.