Green Shadow of a stair lit night.... part five

Today I got my school bag and got ready, showered and every thing. I then went to school I had trouble finding my new classes. I went to the schools smoking spot. I did meat a few new people and I saw the pretty girl with blue hair. We looked at each other and smiled. Then made friends with a pretty cool guy, Alex. He was tall had light skin blue gray eyes, and his hair was long. Me and him liked the same music and he was a bass player. He seemed pretty chill. He was German but lived here his hole life. He did know German witch I thought was cool.
"hey Alex who's that girl with the blue hair?" "Taylor, she's so wired. last year she go caught drinking mouth wash" " really??? wait the pretty one who's blue hair isn't losing its color." " o... I didn't see her behind goth girl haha... shes Rose. Shes so hot, shes doesn't talk much only to goth girl over there."
Then came a kid named Gauge. He was skinny and had long curvy hair. He had small brown eyes and a face I just wanted to punch. I saw him dicking around with his stupid friends and I new that a already I hated him. When I got home I felt sad. Just being in school makes me feel like shit. So I went to sleep. I woke up at about 3:00 am. It was raining again I got up and opened my window then I heard singing. I could not understand the words. I looked out side and there was no one. then noticed the singing came from inside of the house. I got up to look around, but I saw no one. on my way to my bed I thought I saw a shadow of a woman, but it was nothing. Then that night I had a dream of my family I woke up and saw it was 5:00 am. I did not cry because I feel like I just can't cry even if I tried but I was still just as sad. I grabbed my razor and cut my wrist. It hurt but the feeling of almost killing my self in a wired way almost made me feel better. I have so many scars up and down my arm this is why I always have long slaves on. At 6:00 am I went to school and I chilled with Alex... When I got home I got my package from my dad friend. In side was my nice guitar, my note book, a back pack with things to serve from when I went hunting with my dad  and my safe that had all my other stuff. In the safe there was pick locks, four silver coins, some razors, a nice pen, lighters, and other random things. Jill walked in. " your not going to school tomorrow your going to you therapy." " okay thanks for telling me Jill."
The next day on the drive me and Jill where talking about how I have bean feeling and if I need any thing all I have to do is ask. I walked in and right away went to Kate's office. "okay Lazzerus the first part will be with you and me then Jill will come in." "okay." " from the test you did and from wait Jill has told me is that you are depressed, not only that but you have a anxiety disorder.... and I wanted to ask you something. Do you ever feel like hurting your self?" I looked down and with a very soft voice said no. "Can I ask you to do something for me?" still looking down I said " Wait is it?" " Just because I know wait happen to you and how I know your a very depressed teen I would like to see your wrists." My heart dropped. I didn't say a word but have her my arm to pull up my shirt. When she touched it I pulled it back involuntary. Then gave it back to her. Then the other arm. "you shouldn't do this." then she walked out for about five minutes then came back in will Jill. "so I want to give you some medication and there is a camp we want you to go to. its only for the weekend and its for kid like you." I did not like the idea but I just said okay.