"Mental  Anguish  &  Shit"

All this personal shit i spit.
Most think and say that i larry am full of it.
All my pain,all my hurt,all my mizery.
Am i Larry j just plain crazy?
Many would argue yes,many no.
41 years old and ain't got nothing to show.
Thing is i'm feeling all alone in this world.
Surrounded by people all without good morals.
Not that i have any,for i admit all my faults all my bad habits.
Talk alot of shit,so i must be full of shit.
Like they say,the day will come for all.
When we all run out of road and fall.
No hate coming out of me,no more.
Maybe upset about way things turned out,i'm sore.
Still i love all,no hard feelings for those that did me wrong.
For me to come to terms with that,it took me so damn long.
I see the storm off in the distance.
The thunder begins to roll,the wicked dance.
As i hear the rain pour.
The rumbling thunder pounds the door.
It's been a hard long road out of hell.
The past 8 1/2 years i've lost it all,at life i've failed.
I'm mentally stuck in my past.
All the good times i had,back when i could laugh.
There is no laughter present in my life.
There may be a job,a house,a car,a wife.
Either way in this past life.
I also lost all those i loved,even a first wife.
Those that have passed on,i miss them so.
Miss them so much,i know out of love i should let them go.
No matter how hard i try,i cannot do that.
What is fictional? what is fact?

Maybe i am mental.
Maybe i am skitso.
Maybe i am bi polar.
Maybe i am adhd.
Maybe i am suffering from p.t.s.d

Or through everything,maybe i'm just a lazy,worthless,piece of shit.

Looking back too much.
Has me mentally fucked.
Never in a million years would i thought i'd be all alone in this life.
Lose all those dear to me,including a wife.
Why? why do the good have to die.
Why not the low life mutha fuckaz like me,just drop and die?

Over & over i only listen to muzik from my past.
If that's all that can comfort my sorry pathetic ass.
That is it.
That's my comforter of all this shit.
Ain't no sunshine here,only grey skies.
Oh my does the pain make time fly.

All of my personal trouble could be a sickness within my head.
All of the bullshit i've done wrong in life,saprized i'm not dead.

Looked up thought i saw my ex-wife,we talked for a few so it seems.
Damn, i should know better,i just woke up,so it was all a dream.
Just as it was when i saw my granny or my grandpa or uncle frank,all those i loved.
They were all part of a dream,a decieving,mind playin' tricks on me dream.
All now residing into the heavenz above.

Fucked up feelings is all there is.
No matter the pillz i take,mizery is all there iz.

All hurt.
All pain.
All death.
All shit.

There is nothing else to look forward to as long as i'm breathing and alive.
Death is the only positive thing left,the happiness will occur once i die.
So many spots in my memory.
Sometimes i can't tell reality from fantasy.

Why must i have this pain in my soul?
Why must i feel this constant ache in my brain?
Why must i be sad all the waking days of my fucked up life?

All there is,just pure drama.
This shit originated after the death of my beloved mama.

All i ever have to share and write about is my mizery.
Everything that sux in life,shit i see.

More and more my fan base fades away.
People want sex and happiness,i don't have much of that,what can i say?

I apologize,i hope my wish of the end comes soon,then i will not be here to bore you with this shit.

But until my demise and when my corpse is being devoured by the ants,maggots & flies,leaving behind huge piles of maggot shit.

Puss filled sores.
A huge feast for bugs climbing into my puss filled pores.

Decaying flesh slipping off my bones.
Don't matter to me,for my souls been called home.

After the flies & maggots,come the roaches & rats.
Strip completely flesh from bone and that'll be that.

Now all there is,is bone,that's it.
A burial and a headstone and all that other bullshit.

Once my casket drops that's it.
I,Larry j become a distant memory,my name everybody forgets.

If my name ever is mentioned.
It's all bad shit,just a bunch of bitchin'.

Seriously though,my name ain't worth nuthin' for anyone to ever bring up.
And honestly,everyone just gonna remember me as Larry j the fat ass fuck up.

Never worth a thing.
Never heard me ka-ching the cash rings.

Just as i was or once was.
Back to wollerin' in pure sadness.

The End!!!!