deepundergroundpoetry.com
honey
I sell myself
for money
can’t remember
when I began
but the first
man
I went
with
called me honey
before
he rammed
my face against the wall
tall he was
and kind
at first
but then he hurt
me
burst my eyeball
now I’m a one- eyed whore.
for money
can’t remember
when I began
but the first
man
I went
with
called me honey
before
he rammed
my face against the wall
tall he was
and kind
at first
but then he hurt
me
burst my eyeball
now I’m a one- eyed whore.
Published 4th May 2011
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
4th May 2011 11:38pm
Can't decide if it's the way you've phrased this on the page (one word lines in a poem can be a bit like spitting when you're drunk) but the idea of a one eyed whore called honey seems an amusing concept to my quirky sense of humor - and I'm not sure if that was your intention.
If this was really supposed to be 'dark' I'm afraid for me it didn't succeed. But don't worry others who understand you better than I may flock to your rescue with applause.
Appreciate the read.
Best ~ Abra
If this was really supposed to be 'dark' I'm afraid for me it didn't succeed. But don't worry others who understand you better than I may flock to your rescue with applause.
Appreciate the read.
Best ~ Abra
5th May 2011 00:15am
5th May 2011 9:43am
If you enjoy macabre humor then the short stories of Edwardian writer Saki(Hector Hugh Monroe)might be of interest.
