This is how I feel :) :'(

Fuck I don't even know where to start but, I know that it'll all be straight from the heart. My life has been full of ups and downs smiles and frowns. Forced smiles like a childrens party full of depressed clowns. Now my brother is a dad i'm very happy to be an uncle, but deep down i'm actually very sad. Not from disappointment, but because i'm jealous that I don't get to experience that same feeling of enjoyment. Hopefully some day i'll have a special girl that'll have my child, and they'll both be my entire world. I feel like only then will I change for the better, and not be cold like Minnesota's winter weather.