deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Bitter Grace
I am a bitter grace.
A walking contradiction in myself.
n e u r o t i c
My insanity is what makes me perfectly sane.
My gracious nature, my polite attributes.
I always say please and thank you.
I mind all my P's and Q's.
On the surface, I am quiet and sweet.
I am intelligent.
I am perfectly sane.
I read books and write poems.
There is nothing wrong with me.
But silently deep in my mind.
I am more bitter than the taste of poison.
The truth being I can't stand people.
I hate everyone around me.
My bitterness, my sarcastic wit.
My razored tongue with it's sharpened and blunt words.
My envy and jealousy of things other people have.
My strong opinion that I am an individual, uniquely myself.
I annoy and tolerate myself.
My constant shifting moods.
And crazy reasonings.
One minute I will hate myself, cut myself down.
The next minute, I'm writing one of my best poems the world has ever known.
And I'll know it--
I'm aware of my good and my bad.
My suicidal fear of death.
My gothic love of darkness while I sleep with the light on.
I love and hate myself.
I am ugly and pretty.
I am hell and heaven.
I am a blessing and a sin.
I am a saint and sinner in one.
I am good but I can be bad.
I am bad but know how to be good.
I know what is right but I lean towards the wrong.
I know when something's wrong and so I jump to what's right.
Back and forth.
A tennis match of a life.
Constantly hopping, skipping, jumping and switching sides.
I cheated for love.
I loved when I cheated.
I am the victim and the predator.
I am the therapist and the patient.
I am the character and the writer.
I am the poet and the poem.
I am and I am not.
I love danger but long for safety.
Madness is my passion but I crave stability.
I hate people but can't stand being alone.
I love having company but all I need is space.
bitter & grace
The two meaning of my name.
I am bitter and grace, one in the same.
I am my own secret that I will never tell.
I am a walking contradiction in myself.
A walking contradiction in myself.
n e u r o t i c
My insanity is what makes me perfectly sane.
My gracious nature, my polite attributes.
I always say please and thank you.
I mind all my P's and Q's.
On the surface, I am quiet and sweet.
I am intelligent.
I am perfectly sane.
I read books and write poems.
There is nothing wrong with me.
But silently deep in my mind.
I am more bitter than the taste of poison.
The truth being I can't stand people.
I hate everyone around me.
My bitterness, my sarcastic wit.
My razored tongue with it's sharpened and blunt words.
My envy and jealousy of things other people have.
My strong opinion that I am an individual, uniquely myself.
I annoy and tolerate myself.
My constant shifting moods.
And crazy reasonings.
One minute I will hate myself, cut myself down.
The next minute, I'm writing one of my best poems the world has ever known.
And I'll know it--
I'm aware of my good and my bad.
My suicidal fear of death.
My gothic love of darkness while I sleep with the light on.
I love and hate myself.
I am ugly and pretty.
I am hell and heaven.
I am a blessing and a sin.
I am a saint and sinner in one.
I am good but I can be bad.
I am bad but know how to be good.
I know what is right but I lean towards the wrong.
I know when something's wrong and so I jump to what's right.
Back and forth.
A tennis match of a life.
Constantly hopping, skipping, jumping and switching sides.
I cheated for love.
I loved when I cheated.
I am the victim and the predator.
I am the therapist and the patient.
I am the character and the writer.
I am the poet and the poem.
I am and I am not.
I love danger but long for safety.
Madness is my passion but I crave stability.
I hate people but can't stand being alone.
I love having company but all I need is space.
bitter & grace
The two meaning of my name.
I am bitter and grace, one in the same.
I am my own secret that I will never tell.
I am a walking contradiction in myself.
Published 15th Dec 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 733
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
16th Dec 2014 11:15am
You're in good company--
I am the knife and the wound it deals
I am the slap and the cheek
I am the wheel and the broken limbs
hangman and victim both!
I am the vampire at my own veins
one of the great lost horde
doomed for the rest of time and beyond
to 'laugh but smile no more.'
---Charles Baudelaire Heauton Timoroumenos
I am the knife and the wound it deals
I am the slap and the cheek
I am the wheel and the broken limbs
hangman and victim both!
I am the vampire at my own veins
one of the great lost horde
doomed for the rest of time and beyond
to 'laugh but smile no more.'
---Charles Baudelaire Heauton Timoroumenos
16th Dec 2014 6:04pm
Thank you, I'm glad that there are more contradictions like myself.
- Paige Rider
- Paige Rider
