Dear sister

i dont want to apologise
i don't want to say sorry  
i don't want to beg you to love me
it might seem insensitive  
but, none of what happened had anything to do with me
i haven't seen you in a while,
years...... a decade to be exact  
so seeing as we rarely talk,
i feel no need to be nice.  
the times i have heard of you
 you are at your wits end
locking yourself in a bathroom;
clutching on a Bible, texting dad, saying goodbye  
and that you will never see us again.
of all of my life's mysteries  
you are the hardest one to solve
you come in and out of life
as you please.
as shocking as this may seem,
im not a public toilet.  
sometimes it frustrates me that i cannot help you
im not sure any of us know what to do
you've suffered so much.  
you are so strong.  
but you are so confusing.  
so very, fragile.  
 
write to me soon if you can.
 
sincerely  
A.