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puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
i think her name was boat crash
screaming i need some air
29 yrs old skippin down a sidewalk
covered in things men are paid to pick up
on saturday morning
but decorated with those
cat calls, grimier than her jeans
who would give all the bad they got
on a drunk friday evening
in the quarter
if they weren't previously engaged
works the cafe on 38th
never late
never wears a uniform
or is allowed to go inside
spoke on a few different instances
language barrier
still today i figured out
we both might be starting to get it
called her first daughter sunflower
second male child
son
doesn't see em anymore
the sunshine jones
a good samaritan would just leave her be
but i'm a bad lonely man
with no change
and i just wanna hear a lady sing
punched a guy in the face once
for puttin one in her guitar case
and takin five out
while she was playin gordon lightfoot
she said thank you sir
but he probably needs it
more than me
she don't tell a drunkard
to believe in god
just reminds him why he should
and ghosts
knows they are one
and the same
jokes and says she calls me grimace
because she's a hamburglar
and in that other life
we were best friends
i get uncomfortable
pat my pockets apologetically
knowin i don't use nothin but plastic
unless i'm sellin dope
says she don't want that from me anyway
good,bad,indifferent
flat tires aren't really anybody's fault baby
just hope i see you again tomorrow
screaming i need some air
29 yrs old skippin down a sidewalk
covered in things men are paid to pick up
on saturday morning
but decorated with those
cat calls, grimier than her jeans
who would give all the bad they got
on a drunk friday evening
in the quarter
if they weren't previously engaged
works the cafe on 38th
never late
never wears a uniform
or is allowed to go inside
spoke on a few different instances
language barrier
still today i figured out
we both might be starting to get it
called her first daughter sunflower
second male child
son
doesn't see em anymore
the sunshine jones
a good samaritan would just leave her be
but i'm a bad lonely man
with no change
and i just wanna hear a lady sing
punched a guy in the face once
for puttin one in her guitar case
and takin five out
while she was playin gordon lightfoot
she said thank you sir
but he probably needs it
more than me
she don't tell a drunkard
to believe in god
just reminds him why he should
and ghosts
knows they are one
and the same
jokes and says she calls me grimace
because she's a hamburglar
and in that other life
we were best friends
i get uncomfortable
pat my pockets apologetically
knowin i don't use nothin but plastic
unless i'm sellin dope
says she don't want that from me anyway
good,bad,indifferent
flat tires aren't really anybody's fault baby
just hope i see you again tomorrow
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likes 16
reading list entries 6
comments 22
reads 1529
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in hers
6th Dec 2014 3:43am
re: Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in hers
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in hers
6th Dec 2014 3:43am
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in hers <span style=
6th Dec 2014 4:02am
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
6th Dec 2014 5:00am
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's <span style=
6th Dec 2014 5:27am
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
6th Dec 2014 9:02am
this is a little different than your go-to style, more full and descriptive without being telly... you show us the kind of person she is, how other people see you two, and why you appreciate her as a person, and it's for more reasons than one. my favourite part is how you draw the reader in... first 3 stanzas bang on, my faves. [:
1
re: Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
it's hard to talk about things you care about without involving yourself.....
workin on that.....
it can't be jus "it is what it is"
it's how you feel about it too, empathy and insight with no regard for self i guess is a goal???
workin on that.....
it can't be jus "it is what it is"
it's how you feel about it too, empathy and insight with no regard for self i guess is a goal???
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
6th Dec 2014 9:10am
gritty unapologetic love encounter without any of the usual cliches ... I feel like I've seen her playing on a corner in New Orleans or Austin
1
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's <span style=
6th Dec 2014 9:42am
possibilty bro
only need the bridges or airboat to get to baton rouge
it takes longer to get across the GWB at noon.....
only need the bridges or airboat to get to baton rouge
it takes longer to get across the GWB at noon.....
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
6th Dec 2014 3:17pm
This is fucking stellar JR.
I picture Burroughs narrating a scene from Sin City.
Really well developed and laid clean.
Absolutely dig it
I picture Burroughs narrating a scene from Sin City.
Really well developed and laid clean.
Absolutely dig it
1
re: Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
7th Dec 2014 3:23am
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
6th Dec 2014 3:20pm
a good samaritan would just leave her be but i'm a bad lonely man with no change and i just wanna hear a lady sing
That shit right there though... slick man real slick
That shit right there though... slick man real slick
3
re: Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
thas the shit you don't say on purpose consciously but ends up bein the most honest lines.
thanx man....
means a lot....
thanx man....
means a lot....
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
15th Dec 2014 11:23am
You're one of us, man. I have a full reading list, so I'm printing this one for the art wall in my new studio.
Thanks for delivering again, brother from another gutter.
Thanks for delivering again, brother from another gutter.
1
re: Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
23rd Dec 2014 5:12pm
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
Anonymous
23rd Dec 2014 5:01pm
wow. this is such a good picture! i've read it twice and each time something new pops out. i absolutely love this!
1
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
23rd Dec 2014 5:14pm
thank you mam...
i'm glad you enjoyed,
thank you for the read and comments lady.....
i'm glad you enjoyed,
thank you for the read and comments lady.....
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
28th Dec 2014 5:31am
can see Gordon Lightfoot contemplating rainy day people over on 8th avenue.
that's some kinda big love right there...
that's some kinda big love right there...
1
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
30th Dec 2014 8:07pm
getting used to ur poetry, john. very casual n like short poetic dialogues of the thought n heart rather than what's actually spoken. Could feel the description of ur much adored subject here, tactfully putting in the analysis of her character n yours too..the optimistic way u end, liked that.
1
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
30th Mar 2015 3:18am
Re: puts more in my coffee cup than i put in her's
See your stuff pop up on reading lists a lot, it's good insurance, so I don't miss out on your gems.
This poem totally captures the reader's attention with the opening stanza, the description is measured, giving the reader enough to grasp and think about. It's original, it's unguarded, it's clever writing, JR.
This poem totally captures the reader's attention with the opening stanza, the description is measured, giving the reader enough to grasp and think about. It's original, it's unguarded, it's clever writing, JR.
1