deepundergroundpoetry.com
you know what you are
motherfucker
you stole my girl
she use to love me
but then she got
antsy
when love didn't mean nothin’ no more
and the small monkeys
crawling over the wreck of our love
got king kong size
until I had no one else to blame
like I wouldn’t notice
when somebody kept drinking my booze
topping the bottles with water and finding empties
when I was mowing through the amazon
overgrowing
our front lawn
was it my fault when I found her wedding dress tossed
in the laundry tub
when the shit-house was sold clean out
of the morning sun
and was I driving my girl too hard when
somebody smashed up my car
on their way home from work
drunk
chopping telegraph poles
into nunchucks
swinging in the night
who else could I blame
when my toothbrush tasted like bleach
and the dog started sleeping outside in the rain
after my girl hissed at me
to make her purr like a pussy with my finger
up her ass and my cock in her mouth
when love was out of order
serving dinner
cold on weeknights
and we stopped fucking on Thursdays
assuming she needed the extra dough
working double shifts
if the boys were tipping
then she blamed me when she caught the clap
like I was the one getting paid to
sleep around
but I missed her scent on Fridays
when fingering my broken nose
the morning after
you king hit me at the bar
only a king kong size
motherfucker
would beat down an old cunt like me
all in the name of chivalry
to steal
my girl
Published 2nd Dec 2014
| Edited 4th Dec 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 1205
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2nd Dec 2014 11:33am
This piece takes me back to another time and place. I read it earlier and didn't know what to comment. I still don't really know what to comment, but here's a comment anyway.
This piece hits hard on so many levels with me. Emotionally, historically (in the story of my life) and it makes me think of people I know and things I've gone through and seen in my life.
It leaves me uncomfortable, which I guess is a good thing. I'm unsettled and moved and forced to look backwards. On the inside of our memories the past in never really dead.
A powerful write. Thank you.
This piece hits hard on so many levels with me. Emotionally, historically (in the story of my life) and it makes me think of people I know and things I've gone through and seen in my life.
It leaves me uncomfortable, which I guess is a good thing. I'm unsettled and moved and forced to look backwards. On the inside of our memories the past in never really dead.
A powerful write. Thank you.
Thanks, Indie, for reading, leaving and coming back to comment. I was pretty close to deleting the poem, because there are bits and pieces I've seen and experienced in this poem too, and there are other bits I'm not sure where it came from, but the words spewed out a couple of weeks ago, the day after I wrote Inertia Drive. I only decided to finish the poem this morning, whilst having my breakfast.
It's good that the poem made you feel uncomfortable, because it makes me feel uneasy too. It's weird how the poems we write, the ones we question about posting, are often the poems that have some sort of an impact on the readers. Thank you, again for sharing your thoughts and feelings about this piece.
It's good that the poem made you feel uncomfortable, because it makes me feel uneasy too. It's weird how the poems we write, the ones we question about posting, are often the poems that have some sort of an impact on the readers. Thank you, again for sharing your thoughts and feelings about this piece.
2nd Dec 2014 7:06pm
Mr. Case you are a powerful writer.. this ink is incredible in it's depth.. full of juicy details like this..
but I missed her scent on Fridays
when fingering my broken nose
the morning after
loved these lines you do leave a imprint on the mind thank you with respect Crim
but I missed her scent on Fridays
when fingering my broken nose
the morning after
loved these lines you do leave a imprint on the mind thank you with respect Crim
28th Dec 2014 1:07pm
Crim, you're very perceptive and I'm so stoked you liked those lines and that you picked up on the juicy detail. Love it when when a poem of mine catches your attention and if it leaves an imprint, then I'm utterly satisfied.
2nd Dec 2014 8:16pm
Like ms indie a poem that had to be revisited case...
The 'who else could I blame...' line very strong...
End of a relationship never enjoyable...
Reminds me of my life living in the territory & norwest of Australia...
The 'who else could I blame...' line very strong...
End of a relationship never enjoyable...
Reminds me of my life living in the territory & norwest of Australia...
28th Dec 2014 9:20pm
Kate, thanks for coming back and commenting, I knew the poem was going to be confronting for some readers, when I doubted myself. That's always a good sign I guess.
I'm pleased you picked out the "blaming" lines, that was the backbone for the poem and my own thoughts, why many relationships fail. I deliberately blurred who was the victim and villan, because I feel most relationships fail due to problems snowballing between two people, rather than the actions of an individual and when fingers start pointing at where the avalanche started, it's already too late.
Thanks again for reading and for your feedback.
I'm pleased you picked out the "blaming" lines, that was the backbone for the poem and my own thoughts, why many relationships fail. I deliberately blurred who was the victim and villan, because I feel most relationships fail due to problems snowballing between two people, rather than the actions of an individual and when fingers start pointing at where the avalanche started, it's already too late.
Thanks again for reading and for your feedback.
a deeply readable, no nonsense account of a relationship gone bad. Your outlines of the 3 persons involved is riveting.
28th Dec 2014 9:22pm
Mr JAZZ, thank you kindly for dropping by and commenting, I'm stoked you found the broken love triangle riveting.
7th Dec 2014 7:47am
this is somewhat different to what you usually serve up, but still entirely readable & edgy.
"It took him a long, miserable time before he realized the truth of things: There is a great deal of difference between a penis and a heart."
~Patrick Rothfuss
they always say "him/he/... but it's a lesson most women learn the hard way too when carelessly gambling familiar comforts for a taste of something new & exciting.
much enjoyed, Mister Case
"It took him a long, miserable time before he realized the truth of things: There is a great deal of difference between a penis and a heart."
~Patrick Rothfuss
they always say "him/he/... but it's a lesson most women learn the hard way too when carelessly gambling familiar comforts for a taste of something new & exciting.
much enjoyed, Mister Case
28th Dec 2014 9:36pm
Thank you, yekaterina, for digging this serve of edgy and entirely readable poetry. I'm always looking to improve and try something different, always hunting for new voices out there waiting to be discovered... and this poem pretty much came to me in a slur the night after JD and "Inertia Drive" happened.
You already know how much I love the "penis heart" quote... but I thought I was exciting and new.
Thanks again for the reading list add and for your insightful comment.
You already know how much I love the "penis heart" quote... but I thought I was exciting and new.
Thanks again for the reading list add and for your insightful comment.
