To Gaia: the Earth Mother (that is not) (Monday, December 10, 2012)

despondent searching
Half Alive when first we met
lonely and empty
broken unable to feel
married because expected

adult friend finder
not the place to find normal
normal was not found
now why are you so stunned
that long term hopes did not last

little highs and lows
not a great depth of feeling
feeling what i could
getting by but half alive
drifting life no sinecure

epic backfire
your game of who could care less
left wanting lonely
vulnerable to raven
when first she did message me


when your accident
did let me assume that you
wanted open play
i felt real joy and alive
thinking of them both to play

i wanted to feel
to be alive once again
dreaming of holding
someone that fit in my arms
someone that fit what i have

childless marriage ends
failing slowly and painfully
now time to cut bait
find someone to help you fly
make you happy free of me

become callous, cruel
i am become what i hate
shattering hearts, i fall
wising to find love again
unable to find it close

felling trapped, alone
my rationality ends
needing for raven
to help me find a partner
that wants to be a mother

one for me to hold
to enjoy my skilled tongue
to be cupped and held
ride passionate my body
have children for us to raise

one to share my books
and share my soul with raven
remain raven's friend
one to build for the future
and that can accept my past