deepundergroundpoetry.com
***29***
The room - still foreign to me
third party property.
A secret place for us
a place to feast on our ravenous lust.
Our bodies enveloped
like gift packages without bows.
Already ripped open
we had nothing to lose.
What we were giving away
wasn’t meant to last.
Wasn’t anything to hold on
was meant to rapidly pass.
Was nothing for good
but good -
oh yes, good it was.
third party property.
A secret place for us
a place to feast on our ravenous lust.
Our bodies enveloped
like gift packages without bows.
Already ripped open
we had nothing to lose.
What we were giving away
wasn’t meant to last.
Wasn’t anything to hold on
was meant to rapidly pass.
Was nothing for good
but good -
oh yes, good it was.
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: ***29***
As long as you both went into it fully aware and it never went beyond what it was....then it was good
1
re: Re: ***29***
23rd Nov 2014 2:28pm
Sometimes it goes deeper than expected. Unwillingly and unforeseen. But - good it was :-). Thank you, my dear Lena! x
Re: ***29***
23rd Nov 2014 10:42pm
I really like the half rhymes
and hints of rhyme you use
in this, very artfully done...
and hints of rhyme you use
in this, very artfully done...
1
re: Re: ***29***
24th Nov 2014 9:30pm
I take your comment as a compliment :-). Happy that you like the half rhymes. I read the poem out loud and polished it until it sounded good (to me). Thanks for the 'artful', Paul :-).
Re: ***29***
24th Nov 2014 4:02am
Mutual understandings are nice. The agenda is clear and feelings only get in the way. Great write Miss Chi.
1
re: Re: ***29***
24th Nov 2014 9:27pm
Thank you so much xmar82. You have to play by the rules. But someone's always cheating :-).
re: Re: ***29***
24th Nov 2014 9:25pm
Re: ***29***
24th Nov 2014 8:38pm
re: Re: ***29***
24th Nov 2014 9:23pm
Me, too :-). 'Love nest' sounds beautiful! Thank you, Sadsmiles. Wish you happy smiles ...
Re: ***29***
Anonymous
24th Nov 2014 9:51pm
<< post removed >>
Re: ***29***
25th Nov 2014 7:41pm
Ah yes, I digged the theme up again. Sometimes things repeat themselves. Thanks a lot Gabriel. Always appreciate your comments :-).