I know you're only a placebo, but that doesn't mean I won't OD you any less

There are bruises where my reality should be
I’m not asleep and I’m not awake
just trapped in this in between place

They won’t give me sleeping pills over the counter anymore
so I’m stuck with the stuff they give people
with hay fever
and I’m so tired I can’t tell if the pills work
or if I’m just addicted to idea of them working
that I drift off long after they should have kicked in
and call it a placebo effect affair

Sleep is never sleep in this in between days

I can’t switch off
not when there is so much to do
not when my world is drowning
I’m inhaling water like it’s an incentive to swim
to safer shores
if only I could find something to hold on to

When the days get too long
and the shadows get too wide
that they choke the horizon
I start thinking that a chemist brand overdose
might be a good idea
just to sleep without dreaming of waking
because in waking all I do is dream of sleeping

My eyes have become gateways to, huh?
and I know I’ve read your face a million times
but it still makes no sense to me
in this place that’s not really anywhere

The cliffs are calling and the ocean beckons
with the echo of nereids against the rocks

Perhaps I should go find those pills
... just to sleep

© Indie Adams 2014