deepundergroundpoetry.com
Hush
you awaited
prepared
for that sucker
punch
to rattle your
bones
into ashes and
smoke
elements you
put out
soaked in muddy
shores
another heart on
standby
while you flame the
kindle
buckle up and
hush
re-gifting life with
patches
walk the walk
not
talk the talk
crumple your
dreams
in a bucket list
scatter
the shreds in briny
tears
let it soak your
lonely grave
amongst
unknown peers
(Entered in Not another love story Comp Hosted by DarkDreams)
prepared
for that sucker
punch
to rattle your
bones
into ashes and
smoke
elements you
put out
soaked in muddy
shores
another heart on
standby
while you flame the
kindle
buckle up and
hush
re-gifting life with
patches
walk the walk
not
talk the talk
crumple your
dreams
in a bucket list
scatter
the shreds in briny
tears
let it soak your
lonely grave
amongst
unknown peers
(Entered in Not another love story Comp Hosted by DarkDreams)
Published 12th Nov 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 16
reading list entries 3
comments 33
reads 1483
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Anonymous
12th Nov 2014 5:09am
<< post removed >>
12th Nov 2014 5:14am
Born and raised on Manhattan's upper west side...lol
Thank you for the comment and RL add Reks!
Thank you for the comment and RL add Reks!
12th Nov 2014 5:35am
12th Nov 2014 5:44am
12th Nov 2014 5:53am
fire & brimstone & the cold caress of the big sleep. sinister streets you play in...
12th Nov 2014 6:08am
Anonymous
12th Nov 2014 6:08am
Lena, I love this poem, raw, intense, tight delivery.. absolute perfection aesthetically and rhythm.
Just when its all done you deliver the punch right between the eyes.
The title is awesome, thats one way of saying shut the fuck up, lol Love the girl power and no one should forget that.
The last 2 lines are so deep and profound, as the saying goes, show me your friends and i'll show you who you are. Keep on writing Lena, your audience is growing exponentially and that's because what you are saying is the real deal.
Just when its all done you deliver the punch right between the eyes.
The title is awesome, thats one way of saying shut the fuck up, lol Love the girl power and no one should forget that.
The last 2 lines are so deep and profound, as the saying goes, show me your friends and i'll show you who you are. Keep on writing Lena, your audience is growing exponentially and that's because what you are saying is the real deal.
12th Nov 2014 6:25am
Hey Vee, where have you been?! I'm so glad I stayed up late
You know I'm all about girl power and do not hesitate to tell someone to shut the fuck up already....lol...I'm excited you picked that up
I love Barbara Streisand and saw her movie "The Way We Were" (I loved, Mirror Has Two Faces) and it was kinda sad...and I can go on about friends I have seen change when they are easily influenced by negativity and I just wish them well from a distance..... I say all that to say, the last lines have several meanings and I definitely believe if you show me your friends, you show me you.
Thank you mamacita ; )
You know I'm all about girl power and do not hesitate to tell someone to shut the fuck up already....lol...I'm excited you picked that up
I love Barbara Streisand and saw her movie "The Way We Were" (I loved, Mirror Has Two Faces) and it was kinda sad...and I can go on about friends I have seen change when they are easily influenced by negativity and I just wish them well from a distance..... I say all that to say, the last lines have several meanings and I definitely believe if you show me your friends, you show me you.
Thank you mamacita ; )
12th Nov 2014 6:33am
Sexy Lena...... WOW!! I thought she is really pissed.....roar on girl....then I got to the end and it's for a comp....then I thought.....well good...cause I would not liked to have seen the other one on the flip side of this rage. LOL!!! Good Luck!! Xo :)
12th Nov 2014 6:50am
Lmaoooo! Thanks mamacita!
I really purr like a kitten.......most times ; )
I really purr like a kitten.......most times ; )
12th Nov 2014 7:13am
I love this, hermanita! It's an angry scribe, raw and right to the point. You have to tell us something and you do it eloquently and elegantly. I'm in awe with your power.
O-M-G...I feel like I have been crowned by you ; )
I'm glad you can see I have something to say.
Gracias preciosa!
I'm glad you can see I have something to say.
Gracias preciosa!
12th Nov 2014 7:20am
Lena, Oh Lena
awesome Verses,
I love the last verse...
this ink is engraved on my notePad already
BrrrRrrrrHhhh
awesome Verses,
I love the last verse...
this ink is engraved on my notePad already
BrrrRrrrrHhhh
12th Nov 2014 5:50pm
wow Mr. SektioN8ty.....I have to say, this is an honor.
Thank you for the comment and RL add, I am smiling a huge smile today ; )
I have noticed your name in several places, can't wait to read your ink.
Thank you for the comment and RL add, I am smiling a huge smile today ; )
I have noticed your name in several places, can't wait to read your ink.
thenxLoads Lena, that 'll be an honour
......I'm a bit new in this town, I hardly can find the nearest emergency ward....Lols
BrrrRrrrrHhhh
......I'm a bit new in this town, I hardly can find the nearest emergency ward....Lols
BrrrRrrrrHhhh
12th Nov 2014 1:18pm
Dios mio Poe, now that's gotta be awesome!
And I feel awesome....gracias amigo! and for the RL add.
And I feel awesome....gracias amigo! and for the RL add.
12th Nov 2014 11:29pm
13th Nov 2014 1:05pm
Thank you xmar!
Yes, I'm learning slowly, but practicing often
My teacher is harsh....lol
Yes, I'm learning slowly, but practicing often
My teacher is harsh....lol
13th Nov 2014 11:59am
13th Nov 2014 1:06pm
a true honor coming from you Mr. Poetspeak and so grateful you paid me a visit ; )
Anonymous
21st Nov 2014 3:05am
Awesome, well done I loved it!
21st Nov 2014 3:10am
30th Nov 2014 3:38am
Lovin' this little gem, Ms Lena.
Be bold. Stand tall. Speak loudly.
I'm a fan. :)
You may enjoy this:
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/166045-rights/
Be bold. Stand tall. Speak loudly.
I'm a fan. :)
You may enjoy this:
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/166045-rights/
You have me blushing sir. I'm honored and humbled by your comment.
As you already know, I'm a huge fan of yours too ; )
P.S. I read your suggested read and all I have to say is... Great minds think alike....lol
As you already know, I'm a huge fan of yours too ; )
P.S. I read your suggested read and all I have to say is... Great minds think alike....lol
5th Dec 2014 12:05pm
5th Dec 2014 12:13pm
Thank you my Queen
There was so much flowing through me as I wrote it.
There was so much flowing through me as I wrote it.
Anonymous
17th Dec 2014 5:50pm
Beautiful words..flowed fantastically. Awesome ink!
18th Dec 2014 3:51am
15th Jan 2015 4:47pm
You walk it, like you talk it.. brilliant work.. you have such a natural flow, and delivery.. thanks for sharing this gem..
Dave
Dave
15th Jan 2015 7:49pm
15th Feb 2015 6:33pm
This is so powerful, every line just punctures, 're-gifting life...' what a great line, I love it.
Lena, You've done a wonderful job with this poem!
Lena, You've done a wonderful job with this poem!
21st Feb 2015 2:11am
Oh Jasmine, your words humble me and mean a great deal to me ; )
I am honored you have added this to your RL
Thank you!
I am honored you have added this to your RL
Thank you!
