Let Me Drown My Demons

We were both laying in bed. I wondered if this was the right choice, I had never let anyone love me like you did. Months later I feel used, like a bleached rose who's lost all its color. I want to go back, I want to reset my life. I don't want to be the dirty, shitty person I am now. I hate the girl I see in the mirror.

I hate how she sleeps with people who don't care about her.
I hate that she gets high to feel something again.
I hate that she gave away her virginity to a person who never even loved her in the first place.  

I look at myself and I see a curvy girl in her underwear and I wonder if this is really beauty. If everyone I touched wanted to touch me back.

I keep scratching my shoulders as if an angel will appear but all I see are hideous demon wings.