To be or disappear?

To be or disappear?
All I see around me is people
with frowns on their face
& no joy in the world.
Is this how it's going to be?
I'm not an adult yet &
all I have ever known
is to deal with all the sadness in
the world.
I don't know.
What do I do?
Isn't the point of life
living prosperous & happily
surrounded by the people I love?
Working hard to achieve success.
But what does all that come
down to?
You live your life, whether you're
happy or sad, judged by the entire
world. Trying to do better everyday
for your own good.
But at the end of all that we all
come to an end.
Oblivion.
It won't matter what we did
with our lives.
It won't matter if we were rich
or poor.
It won't matter what kind of
clothes we wore...
So why am I still fighting this battle?
Can you please let me go?
I don't want to live anymore.
To be or to disappear?
 I know the cost of life, it's pain.
Not being entirely happy.
But what is the gain?
So I ask again.
Why am I fighting this battle with life?
With destiny.
With the future.
Why am I still making the effort?
Please let me be happy...
But my happiness involves not being here.