Once upon a time I smoked three packs a day...

If God meant you to smoke
he would have designed
the plumbing for your asshole
differently

Smoking has zero advantages
it doesn't make you better
sexier or smarter
It does kill you slowly
while you watch your money burn
with that nasty bastard cancer
sitting quietly on your shoulder
waiting to jump in
and rape your cells to death

I quit a long time ago
so I'm no newly reformed smoker
preaching my own ego
Giving up
was easier than I thought
I took a small medicine bottle
crammed it with ash and cigarette butts
making sure I never left home
without it in my pocket

Every time I wanted to smoke
I unscrewed the top of the bottle
held it up to my nose
and breathed in
as deeply as I could

A few weeks of that disgusting
stale tobacco stench
and I couldn't bear
to be near a cigarette
ever again

So if you really
want to quit
my advice is
save your butt
and switch
to the bottle