'The strawberry incident'.

 Yin nicht Ah brocht hame a lassie
she wis german and shairly gey classie.
we spoke and she read ma poetrie
then it gote doun tae the houghmagandie!

efternuin nixt day while ah wis innocently laying
me and hir cuidnae mak oot whit ma frien  wis saying.
it seemed affie like he said stope
while she wis jigglin aboot oan tope.

natur's gey fuil ay mysteries
but insteid it turnt oot he shouted
"strawberries"!

just afore Ah wis aboot tae shoot
we stoped
while my face went beatroot.

Nou Ah ken the meaning  
ay Schadenfreude
cuz                                    
when Ah tellt  'im
the bastart juist said
"Ha!"...

Fer sic crimes 'e deserves a smack in the pus
'e acts as Coitus interruptus!..

Glossary:-
Schadenfreude (Pronounced- Scha-dah-freu-dah?)