deepundergroundpoetry.com
absolved
one thirty on a saturday afternoon
where autumn asks for nothing
August rests swaying in his new swing
the one mama says has the right angle
for him to catch his breath correctly
a wrinkled mass of shar pei guarding
the hour when giving a shit
pays off
in folds
a simple man accidentally showed up
tricked me with whiskey
and sent me on my way
he wished me the very best on my art
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likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 12
reads 913
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: absolved
Anonymous
25th Oct 2014 7:02pm
Be careful of them that'd trick with whiskey, especially when you know the days that can ask for no more. Does it absolve anyone that all misery can contribute to great art? I could be reading this all wrong though. Either way, I really like it and how it alludes to so much more...
Hug August and mama for us :) love n light
Hug August and mama for us :) love n light
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re: Re: absolved
26th Oct 2014 1:39pm
not far off, and ill take it as a compliment...thrilled that it pointed to something further, but left enough..thanks tons
and twice more for the love n light...cheers m'dear!
and twice more for the love n light...cheers m'dear!
Re: absolved
Anonymous
25th Oct 2014 8:31pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: absolved
26th Oct 2014 1:40pm
Re: absolved
25th Oct 2014 9:36pm
"a wrinkled mass of shar pei guarding"
puppy knows what time it is....
whole diff world now huh bro?
i can see the fire in you from it...
admirable cuz.....
puppy knows what time it is....
whole diff world now huh bro?
i can see the fire in you from it...
admirable cuz.....
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re: Re: absolved
Word... that tickles me, for real
Yeah, er thing changed...had to trim the fat fast, and make steel hard the shit that needs staying
Odd fire too... some shit fo sho
nuff respect, thanks bro
Yeah, er thing changed...had to trim the fat fast, and make steel hard the shit that needs staying
Odd fire too... some shit fo sho
nuff respect, thanks bro
Re: absolved
26th Oct 2014 1:30am
Everyone needs that simple man to show up now and then.
Looks like I missed a lot while I was away.
Looks like I missed a lot while I was away.
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re: Re: absolved
26th Oct 2014 1:44pm
Yessir, and I needed the simple man to toss anchor
Few things changed..yup, for sure.
Cheers DM, good to see ya
Few things changed..yup, for sure.
Cheers DM, good to see ya
Re: absolved
27th Oct 2014 5:24am
I've missed poetry. I think this is honest and I really enjoyed it light
Your writing seems different
Better I've read a few pieces decided I would comment on just the one. You've grown it shows
Nice 11111
Your writing seems different
Better I've read a few pieces decided I would comment on just the one. You've grown it shows
Nice 11111
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re: Re: absolved
27th Oct 2014 12:29pm
good to see ya gigi... thank you, glad you liked
yeah spose the writings changed a bit
spose I might have too
yeah spose the writings changed a bit
spose I might have too
Re: absolved
28th Oct 2014 2:47pm
Very well written, LB. The opening lines are really strong, "where autumn asks for nothing", that there drew me in. Captivating stuff.
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re: Re: absolved
28th Oct 2014 8:16pm