Change Is Hard

I wanna change but it's hard to change when being good feels so strange. I feel like i'm never gonna learn till i'm on a shelf being mourned in a ceramic urn. I always seem to cause anger and pain but that'll be me till the day I D-I-E. Besides that I feel like a stupid fucking sewer rat. Nothing but a motha fucking pest long as i'm alive my loved ones will never have a goodnight rest. They'll always be stressed and depressed alwayz worrying if my life has positively progressed. I think this is all just a test to see if i'm stronger than the rest. I just hope i'm able to pass before I end up DEAD last