Look Honey the Dolphins are Smiling

 
A few glasses of wine is all it takes  
to get me thinking about  
sail boats again  
In the movies  
the ocean is always so blue  
with barely a cloud in the sky  
the boats drift on by effortlessly  
pretty sails set so clean and white  
and wherever you look there are dolphins  
smiling  
 
Drinks never get spilled  
the wind is always on time  
and the sweetest girls in bikini bottoms  
just love to do all the work  
so you can lounge around on cushions  
wearing a hat that makes you feel  
more important than you are  
as you smile graciously  
with the dolphins  
 
Sure there'll be times  
when the sea gets a sulk on  
Isn't refusing to cooperate  
every woman's right...  
but that second refill makes me wonder  
Maybe I'm not too old  
to climb the mast  
when something expensive falls off  
Not too old  
to scramble on deck  
when the anchor drags  
in the middle of the night  
Not too old  
to cheat death on the rocks  
or rescue canoeists in distress  
Not too old  
to fight off pirates and smuggle a case or two  
Not too old  
for those sweetest girls in bikini bottoms  
still making you smile  
like a dolphin  
 
Then I remember  
steering from the womb of the mother of all storms  
nothing to eat and no sleep for three nights straight  
the banshee wind howling in my eyes  
I have no choice but to pee inside my pants  
and no amount of Hail Mary's full of grace  
ever makes that fear smell sweeter  
 
The dolphins stopped smiling then  
they'd all hurried home to hide  
before the growlers could hunt me out
tossing my puny world upside down  
and only because I was fool enough  
plain crazy enough  
to be there  
 
But I know every storm has an end  
and if you live or die  
the sea wont give a damn either way  
I'm drinking to that now  
before I check out the boats for sale along the quay    
trying just a bit harder  
to celebrate dry land