Collections VOL.III / Mary 3; Letters to Maria

Maria; Mary, I want to show you the kind of special love that I carry for you inside my heart

how I’m thankful for your arrival in my life, the knees bow and my tongue confesses

I fell in love with you my living sound, you’re the music in my eyes, a wall of livin sound, my love, Mí amor,

But every time I try to break away from the dark side that sometimes has a hold o’er me,

seems so long IT has kept me living here in the halls of the Spider King and the temple of the dog

These letters, which have been carefully placed next to you,

Though sometimes it feels as if it’s a dream from another winding through my head,

you are bound to find, written from both sides of me,

it’s a kind of broken feeling

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

On bended knee, the last thing ever I can do now,

In moments of silence, I now pray,

Lord, please don’t ever let me forget, all the times breathing and living with her by my side

Dont burn my bridges, dont burn them

Please be there for her, like I should have been

let her have someone, let her have somebody, that she needs, even if its not me

It’s all mixed up, Lord I got it all messed up,

please let everything be alright,

Let all o this be a made up dream,

let all o’ this be in a dream, all of it, all of me

```~~~…   …   …~~~```

Her memory shadows me everywhere,

tricking me into thinking everything will be alright,

I am empty and found wanting, then you refill me, with just a look in your eye,

My hands are tired from fighting,

from holding on to what I thought was mine,

my eyes are tired from watching, and my mind, too bitter and numb to feel

the soul is dead and tired, the hearts a heart of stone

The feeling of a dry desert valley carved right through the middle of all souls

Lord; if I leave it all up to you, God; will everything be alright

She’s always painting pictures, of how it all was supposed to be

She’s always drawing rainbows, over all of my dark mood swings

she moves in and out, living and breathing in light and sound

Says I’m all mixed up,

I wake up and lean over,

its early mornin, or late at night

sincerely say a prayer, to be like the old ways,

and remember about peace and love,

then in bitterness, I start blaspheming

Just for the satisfaction of ruining all that was once good,

it’s a very perverse feeling coming over me,

She has access to be able to leave,

She has access to open windows

She has access over me,

shes the kind of a girl that makes me all the news of the world

Yes you can say she is attractive and beautifully built,

Many are her words that always leave me guessing,  

And then she comes back round again, a breath beneath my fingers

tells me I am still her knight, I am still her man

She can run in the silence,

She’s always running in the deep

walking in light or the shadows, crying an reciting curses in her sleep,

chanting in dark and shadowed corners, placing charms and games on me

talking about shadow people standing next to the bed, sends all blood fleeing cold as the ice frozen in the secret deeps

Its all mixed up, she says I’m all mixed up,

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Midnight moon, shine on me, shine on me

In silent prayer I kneel and wait, though in earnest, in fear I wait for the ricochet

Salt betrays eye again, memories fall back and relapse of our times

Letters to Maria, written during noon time breezes, warm upon my cheek

Oh, too late too late, Wait for the ricochet, salt betrays mine eyes again,

Where is the consultation set aside for me,

Once I believed in childhood things,

Such walls soon come crumbling down, without any consultation from the deep

In silent prayer I kneel and in wait, though am just waiting for the ricochet,

Lord, nightmares from my youth,

Then nightmares from when we first meet

I don’t know if you are the one I was supposed to meet

Lord I just want to ride on, ride on

When I leave, my pain he goes, and I feel so free, and then I feel so young

much stronger than I have

But then, I remember, and I feel you, and all the pain that you have

I don’t who, no I don’t know it, I don’t know who’s pain is here,

I know you’re the first, and you’re the last, and your currently the only

but I dont know, if theres another for the second half of my life,

Well, the story of us took all my youth, and then we shut down

That was the worst pain ever I did have

in my sleep, before I knew ya

I was always told

I always felt, there are two halves of my life

Oh the shadows come, and I don’t know, no I don’t know, but I remember, and I can feel,

its all mixed up, its all coming to pass what was once told long ago in sweet dreams

Now I don’t know if I can believe my eyes, nor what I hear,

Well if I, go, the pain it he goes,

But then I love you, and I feel your pain from me going,

I don’t know who’s pain is here,

I think its worst than any feeling I have had,

Well if I stay too long now, darlin its not what I intended,

Don’t be worring, I’ll be on my way,

The door seems so far away now, leavin this world that I been livin in,

I hope that you can understand, its not something that I can just up and easily leave now,

Sitting back on my golden chair,

I remember well darlin, I can still remember well,

How all my life I wanted you

All my life I cared

You move across the room, like a starlet without a care,

Maria, I Love you;

And if it takes a few more years, to turn the tears into laughter, I will be here

Till you turn me onto the turning away

Mary I’ll be here,

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

I don’t know what happen to me and you,

I miss us, I miss you, even when you are there, I miss you more

I cant stand how you look at me,

I cant stand it even more how you don’t look at me anymore,

I cant stand how you act and treat me, as a second class spouse

I really don’t remember what it was I did, what it was that I wasn’t doing,

you kept it quiet and to yourself

Letting me slowly die in front of you,

Did that please you, darlin

You didn’t have to think twice how to make me crumble

goin half crazy from time to time, my mind slowly passin

Yes my darlin, My minds gone and my youths gone,

You exposed all the dark secrects that I had kept hidden

Every day, every mornin, I wake up

Try and figure out what happened, to us, a virtual nirvana we once knew

I only want to see you happy and smiling joyously again with me

Let your love reign down like it used to and wash o’er me

God I want to see us dancing, laughing in bathing in the rain of our loves reign

I only want to see us laughing and bathing in our loves reign