The prize at the end of the tunnel

Hey everyone, haven't been on this site for a while because honestly I was suffering from addiction, I have 77 days clean today and just now started writing again
Enjoy:)


Today, I am finally come to a conclusion.
That living life in peace, it's only an illusion.
And while I'm trapped in my mind, like some mental institution
I figured that death is my only solution.
As I search through countless pages,
Lies a theory,  proved by ancient ages.
My hunger lies waiting in rusty cages.
A beast so terrifying, something so dark,
Paces endlessly,
Waiting to leave it's mark.
It's desire is something I cannot fath
om, fear spreading, as I fall through bottomless chasms.  
But when I hit the rocky floor,
I find there's something I adore.
Waiting for me like a prize,
Only to be taken right before my eyes.
The beast of whom, I though had subsided,
Decided to enter uninvited.
I sat in ruins as he chewed and  thrashed.
But then spit her up and had a small laugh.
The once cherished prize that I adored. Now stared at me with eyes that roared.
I cleaned and polished the life I once lost.
But every now and then I trip on the rocks.