deepundergroundpoetry.com
I Cried
I cried tonight
Kind of like an idiot
Scared that I trusted in moments
That I shouldn't have again
I kept it secret
Because I didn't want you to know
That I produced drops of fear
All on dumb potential
I let the rain fall
And coated the fabrics of my pillowcase
At least I had something soft
To capture pieces of a broken face
I wanted to ask you questions
To get the answers that I needed
But I couldn't find the words
So I asked my tears to tell me how
I cried for following intuition
And tears flowed wondering how you felt after
I was so sure of things then
But far too apprehensive now
They made a pool for me to swim through
A temporary flood leading to you
Released me to the wild where it hurts
And I screamed out so loud
I didn't want this experience
Or for you to ever hear this
I decided I couldn't do it anymore
Wasn't as capable as I thought
I could feel the good in this
But the bad was just too much
It reminded me of every reason why
Emotions tend to piss me off
Oversensitivity to the littlest things
Confusion of what is or what isn't
Resisting desires to talk about it
Wondering if I'm overreacting
Yet somehow through it all
I managed to ride the rapids to safety
They took me to my own conclusions
Where I hated myself temporarily
Scolded my heart for being a fool and believing
And not withstanding the urge to let go
Then eventually I found a way
To express how I was feeling
Although it was hard to convey thoughts
You gave me what I was looking for
And it turns out those tears
Were almost for nothing
But if I disallowed emotions to take control
And didn't burst open that part of my soul
Then I would never have known
That I for sure wasn't alone
Relieved that everything was fine
And that there are no regrets in your mind
For the truth I was able to find
I guess I'm glad that I cried
Kind of like an idiot
Scared that I trusted in moments
That I shouldn't have again
I kept it secret
Because I didn't want you to know
That I produced drops of fear
All on dumb potential
I let the rain fall
And coated the fabrics of my pillowcase
At least I had something soft
To capture pieces of a broken face
I wanted to ask you questions
To get the answers that I needed
But I couldn't find the words
So I asked my tears to tell me how
I cried for following intuition
And tears flowed wondering how you felt after
I was so sure of things then
But far too apprehensive now
They made a pool for me to swim through
A temporary flood leading to you
Released me to the wild where it hurts
And I screamed out so loud
I didn't want this experience
Or for you to ever hear this
I decided I couldn't do it anymore
Wasn't as capable as I thought
I could feel the good in this
But the bad was just too much
It reminded me of every reason why
Emotions tend to piss me off
Oversensitivity to the littlest things
Confusion of what is or what isn't
Resisting desires to talk about it
Wondering if I'm overreacting
Yet somehow through it all
I managed to ride the rapids to safety
They took me to my own conclusions
Where I hated myself temporarily
Scolded my heart for being a fool and believing
And not withstanding the urge to let go
Then eventually I found a way
To express how I was feeling
Although it was hard to convey thoughts
You gave me what I was looking for
And it turns out those tears
Were almost for nothing
But if I disallowed emotions to take control
And didn't burst open that part of my soul
Then I would never have known
That I for sure wasn't alone
Relieved that everything was fine
And that there are no regrets in your mind
For the truth I was able to find
I guess I'm glad that I cried
Published 28th Sep 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
29th Sep 2014 8:08pm
a good cry is great therapy..we all have those moments of fear and doubt when we are vulnerable to being hurt again..love on through it! lovely piece, captures the process well
shine on
shine on
30th Sep 2014 9:21am
Yeah... you're right, it is great therapy and it's truly amazing how tears can provide clarity.
Doubt and fear can be strong sometimes but I am working on overcoming it. It's hard, but it's a fight that I'd like to win. It just has to be better on the other side. Risking the vulnerability and believing that it's worth it is the challenge for it is all based on hope. But how can one know change without attempting to try? I think the try has to be worth it even if the outcome is not because at least one can learn.
Thanks for the encouragement and for reading and commenting. It's much appreciated.
Doubt and fear can be strong sometimes but I am working on overcoming it. It's hard, but it's a fight that I'd like to win. It just has to be better on the other side. Risking the vulnerability and believing that it's worth it is the challenge for it is all based on hope. But how can one know change without attempting to try? I think the try has to be worth it even if the outcome is not because at least one can learn.
Thanks for the encouragement and for reading and commenting. It's much appreciated.
Anonymous
30th Sep 2014 9:40am
:)
The third type of tears is emotional tears. It all starts in the cerebrum where sadness is registered. The endocrine system is then triggered to release hormones to the ocular area, which then causes tears to form. Emotional tears are common among people who see Bambi's mother die or who suffer personal losses.
The phrase "having a good cry" suggests that crying can actually make you feel physically and emotionally better, which many people believe. Some scientists agree with this theory, asserting that chemicals build up in the body during times of elevated stress. These researchers believe that emotional crying is the body's way of ridding itself of these toxins and waste products.
In fact, one study collected both reflex tears and emotional tears (after peeling an onion and watching a sad movie, respectively). When scientists analyzed the content of the tears, they found each type was very different. Reflex tears are generally found to be about 98 percent water, whereas several chemicals are commonly present in emotional tears [Source: The Daily Journal. First is a protein called prolactin, which is also known to control breast milk production. Adrenocorticotropic hormones are also common and indicate high stress levels. The other chemical found in emotional tears is leucine-enkephalin, an endorphin that reduces pain and works to improve mood. Of course, many scientists point out that research in this area is very limited and should be further studied before any conclusion can be made.
Incidentally, in Japan some people have taken the notion of "a good cry" to the next level. They hold organized crying clubs where they watch sad movies and television shows and read tear-inducing books.
The third type of tears is emotional tears. It all starts in the cerebrum where sadness is registered. The endocrine system is then triggered to release hormones to the ocular area, which then causes tears to form. Emotional tears are common among people who see Bambi's mother die or who suffer personal losses.
The phrase "having a good cry" suggests that crying can actually make you feel physically and emotionally better, which many people believe. Some scientists agree with this theory, asserting that chemicals build up in the body during times of elevated stress. These researchers believe that emotional crying is the body's way of ridding itself of these toxins and waste products.
In fact, one study collected both reflex tears and emotional tears (after peeling an onion and watching a sad movie, respectively). When scientists analyzed the content of the tears, they found each type was very different. Reflex tears are generally found to be about 98 percent water, whereas several chemicals are commonly present in emotional tears [Source: The Daily Journal. First is a protein called prolactin, which is also known to control breast milk production. Adrenocorticotropic hormones are also common and indicate high stress levels. The other chemical found in emotional tears is leucine-enkephalin, an endorphin that reduces pain and works to improve mood. Of course, many scientists point out that research in this area is very limited and should be further studied before any conclusion can be made.
Incidentally, in Japan some people have taken the notion of "a good cry" to the next level. They hold organized crying clubs where they watch sad movies and television shows and read tear-inducing books.
1st Oct 2014 11:52am
Cool, informative. Makes a lot of sense. And lol at crying clubs! Amusing and interesting.
5th Oct 2014 00:34am
This is truly relatable, I tend to overthink the littlest thing myself! I particularly like the lines 'They made a pool for me to swim through
A temporary flood leading to you'.
A temporary flood leading to you'.
5th Oct 2014 2:41am
Yeah, overthinking is so annoying! So is overfeeling, when you think you are anyway lol. but crying about it is good sometimes. Glad you found this relatable. Thanks for your comment.
