deepundergroundpoetry.com
We - well, you & me - Senryu
Rotting affection
Fast-growing disenchantment
Stale breath of past love
Fast-growing disenchantment
Stale breath of past love
Published 11th Sep 2014
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likes 13
reading list entries 1
comments 30
reads 1019
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The author encourages honest critique.
11th Sep 2014 12:17pm
Chiyo, luv :-* ~
You have succinctly stated in moments what many fail to identify after long hours of therapy. ;-p
Well done.
What now shall be done, luv? :-*
You have succinctly stated in moments what many fail to identify after long hours of therapy. ;-p
Well done.
What now shall be done, luv? :-*
Dear Savaja, I think writing is kind of a therapy and it's fun to use only 17 syllables to put in the essence of my feelings :-). Thank you so much for your kind advice. It helped a lot! xo
11th Sep 2014 12:40pm
11th Sep 2014 10:11pm
Yes, leave out everything superfluous (which is relative) :-). Thanks for liking, Speak!
11th Sep 2014 1:12pm
11th Sep 2014 10:13pm
Thank you so very much, kateA, for stopping by and leaving this great comment. I'm honored by it!
11th Sep 2014 2:46pm
Oh, very clear Senryu, miss Chi! It is the strength of this form of poetry, very short and efficient to send a strong message! Like it!!!
11th Sep 2014 10:15pm
Glad you liked it, malin! Thank you very much. It is indeed the efficiency of this poetry form that attracts me.
Anonymous
11th Sep 2014 3:11pm
Miss Chi,
There's no mouth wash to cure that! Nothing left to do but rinse and spit : ) great write!
tornado
There's no mouth wash to cure that! Nothing left to do but rinse and spit : ) great write!
tornado
11th Sep 2014 10:16pm
Hahaha! That's cute :-). Rinse and spit. Sometimes I remind myself of a spitting cat :-). So your comment fits. Thanks you so much.
11th Sep 2014 6:37pm
"Rotting Affection" what a visceral way to describe falling out of love. Well done Miss Chi!
11th Sep 2014 10:19pm
Oh, well ... visceral. Great word, btw :-). If you have to be brief you try to make sure that the message is clear :-). Thank you, Gahddess_Worship, for your kind comment!
11th Sep 2014 9:11pm
11th Sep 2014 10:21pm
That's absolutely sweet of you, Paul. I'd like to return the compliment although your poems are more of a refreshing storm, sweeping your readers off their feet :-).
11th Sep 2014 10:21pm
11th Sep 2014 10:26pm
I try to keep them short, JeJe. The shorter they are the less mistakes are produced :-). That's what I'm at last hoping for. Thank you my dear JeJe! xo
11th Sep 2014 11:03pm
Something went bad and died. Let's bury it and with it sorrow, so that we may love again. Enjoyed.
11th Sep 2014 11:06pm
That's why I write :-)
and you're right.
We have to let go
to go on again.
Thanks for you lovely words, xmar82.
and you're right.
We have to let go
to go on again.
Thanks for you lovely words, xmar82.
11th Sep 2014 11:09pm
when a 'you' & a 'me' are no longer a 'we', it's the saddest thing in the universe...
At least one of the saddest things in your very own universe. Afflicts the stars too, where-else do the meteorites come from? Just pieces of broken hearts. Thanks, dear John, for leaving that sweet comment.
11th Sep 2014 11:13pm
12th Sep 2014 7:07am
12th Sep 2014 2:15am
12th Sep 2014 7:15am
Sometimes those "shorties" come to my mind in one piece, sometimes it's necessary to work a bit on them. This one I had indeed to polish before I agreed with it. Thanks for your encouraging words, dear Sara!
Anonymous
12th Sep 2014 9:34am
Made me think of crumbles old flowers, withering away, dark write here!
13th Sep 2014 11:17am
12th Sep 2014 11:47am
There's actually very wonderful
news in this for done very lucky guy
in the future...they may strike 'gold' by winning
your affections :)
news in this for done very lucky guy
in the future...they may strike 'gold' by winning
your affections :)
13th Sep 2014 11:19am
Awwwwwwww ... what a sweetheart you are!!! Thank you so much, Poe, for your lovely comment and your nice opinion about my person :-).
13th Sep 2014 8:10am
13th Sep 2014 11:21am
Thank you, LSP. You know how important your opinion is to me since you are undoubtedly the king of haiku/senryu!
