Coffee and Chocolate

I am scared
To hold and feel soft damp lips test my concrete skin
I will crumble.

I am scared
To feel hard dense arms hold my fragile feelings
I will shatter

I am scared
To reminisce of his thick soft brown hair fall on my face as we kiss
I will hide

And I am scared,
Scared to even think about love, and how much I have to give,
So I turn cold, and believe that feelings are not rational
And yet, when my day is done and my title isn’t so transient anymore
I revert to my child like state
Like the sweet taste of forbidden chocolate
And the bitter after-taste of cold coffee
I am seductive and dark
Yet men
Just want to spit me out.