Ramblings

When i'm high, I try to transcribe the pain.
I try to subside the wreck of a train inside my brain,
by describing the unsubscribed pills ive tried in vane.
not looking for thrills just trying to hide the pain.
That's why I pop these pills on a day to day.
Just trying to chase the pain away.
Remember my face as I fade away.

I have an insane fascination,
with incapacitating my brain.
Exacerbating my pain.
Never written fiction,
my illest depictions,
happen on a day to day.

But I'll never quit my fix,
it lets me see more shades of grey.
I pray for the daylight to fade away
and I pray for the night to take my pain away.
Like, without the light I might just feel okay,
but instead my vision just turns to grey.

Scared to say, I'm afraid. Sure I'm getting paid,
on the way.
But I'm paving my way to self dissipation, I'm just fading
away.