deepundergroundpoetry.com
Freedom
Inspired by: Sin
Black bird
White trails
twiddle de
twiddle dum
Days blend
Boredom sets
Call out
Lost power
Mind week
Sun rise
Repeat
Done
Published 17th Aug 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
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comments 2
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
18th Aug 2014 7:18am
Not trying to tell you how to write, but I think if where you put "boredom sets" if you put "boredom sets in" it would have made it flow better, for me anyway. Great write though!
23rd Aug 2014 1:38pm
Thank you for the honest feedback! Yes, the flow would of been better; but leaving the "in" out sets the tone of being bored and too lazy to complete a sentince/thought. Cheers! I encourage honesty.
