deepundergroundpoetry.com
BLISS
Through the dark and the granite streets and
Darker rain, I ran to the foot of Castle Peak,
Where hate filled battles were lost and won
And pipers echoed.
With child hands and rock feet, I climbed,
To slide as hoped-for-strides fell short and failed
And fingers grabbed air, in prayer, to fall or fly
As I held fast.
Held, beneath the thunderous ephemeral cloud.
Above the cloud's gloom shadow; I am cliff face,
Rock melt, rain drop, a light shard of the coming sun,
Not up nor down.
Adrenalin poised on a precipice, resigned to fate.
The tortured town and pipers lament still calling.
Ahead in the castle keep, a love, I keep, is calling.
Calling me ahead.
Yet Joy and Peace enter me.
Enter me in the name of Grace
And there in me multiply.
Flow on anon to all sentient souls;
A finger-hold on a moment,
Balanced in the land of bliss.
Darker rain, I ran to the foot of Castle Peak,
Where hate filled battles were lost and won
And pipers echoed.
With child hands and rock feet, I climbed,
To slide as hoped-for-strides fell short and failed
And fingers grabbed air, in prayer, to fall or fly
As I held fast.
Held, beneath the thunderous ephemeral cloud.
Above the cloud's gloom shadow; I am cliff face,
Rock melt, rain drop, a light shard of the coming sun,
Not up nor down.
Adrenalin poised on a precipice, resigned to fate.
The tortured town and pipers lament still calling.
Ahead in the castle keep, a love, I keep, is calling.
Calling me ahead.
Yet Joy and Peace enter me.
Enter me in the name of Grace
And there in me multiply.
Flow on anon to all sentient souls;
A finger-hold on a moment,
Balanced in the land of bliss.
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Re: BLISS
Anonymous
9th Aug 2014 11:24pm
Dam whale man youse a rockit poet....nyce won
1
Re: BLISS
9th Aug 2014 11:27pm
re: Re: BLISS
9th Aug 2014 11:40pm
Re: BLISS
9th Aug 2014 11:54pm
This has an Ancient air about it, and anything that involves Castles has my attention. Wonderful Mr Whale.
1
re: Re: BLISS
10th Aug 2014 00:08am
that's great Mags - I've been wandering around Scotland in the rain - glad the wondering was not in vain
Re: BLISS
10th Aug 2014 00:28am
I've never been to Scotland,
but mountains and swirling
mists and the peace found
in such a landscape, well
I've felt similar in walking
holidays in Wales and
among the ruins of Carreg
Cennan and such like...
but mountains and swirling
mists and the peace found
in such a landscape, well
I've felt similar in walking
holidays in Wales and
among the ruins of Carreg
Cennan and such like...
0
re: Re: BLISS
10th Aug 2014 7:50am
Thanks Dartford and glad you could see - the Carreg Cennan - very similar to Castle Peak as it was built for a Scotsman
Re: BLISS
Anonymous
10th Aug 2014 1:38am
In the land of bliss you held on blindly to faith and fate.
There is such majestic quality to this poem, it's as if you've been struggling to get there, but you got there, eventually.
Very nice work here Whale, i actually read it few times to absorb the extent of fine quality of your wording in this poem.
There is such majestic quality to this poem, it's as if you've been struggling to get there, but you got there, eventually.
Very nice work here Whale, i actually read it few times to absorb the extent of fine quality of your wording in this poem.
1
re: Re: BLISS
10th Aug 2014 7:53am
That's so kind Vee - somewhere between holding on and letting go - we get the present - and then we forget it to find it again
Re: BLISS
10th Aug 2014 4:19am
re: Re: BLISS
10th Aug 2014 7:54am
Re: BLISS
Anonymous
10th Aug 2014 10:54am
makes me think of feelings I've had while listening to a lone piper in Scotland's highlands...even the cold and dreary weather feel included..lovely work :)
1
re: Re: BLISS
10th Aug 2014 11:17am
That was weird - I was just reading you as you were reading me - glad you liked it MM :) thanks
re: re: Re: BLISS
Anonymous
10th Aug 2014 11:26am
dammit...there's a word for that! LOL
1
Re: BLISS
10th Aug 2014 11:58pm
Re: BLISS
Anonymous
11th Aug 2014 3:33am
The change in your speaker in stanza five mimics the change in structure from the first four stanzas---very cool. There is a motif in your pieces, Whale. A progression, a beginning stance to and end of change whether for your speaker or reader or both.
***Grammar check: stanza three last line, should be "neither up nor down" not "not.'
I liked the piece, lovely mood created.
***Grammar check: stanza three last line, should be "neither up nor down" not "not.'
I liked the piece, lovely mood created.
0
re: Re: BLISS
11th Aug 2014 3:55am
Yes - the progression - excellent SW - I love your careful reading.
On grammar it was for a long time neither and now it's not. Not good.
Am still thinking this one - not is so emphatic
On grammar it was for a long time neither and now it's not. Not good.
Am still thinking this one - not is so emphatic
Re: BLISS
Anonymous
11th Aug 2014 11:31am
O, the bliss of the journey, the meandering mind when on a walk through nature and history lanes!
0
re: Re: BLISS
11th Aug 2014 5:27pm
Re: BLISS
11th Aug 2014 7:25pm
re: Re: BLISS
11th Aug 2014 7:56pm
that's right Xmar - may be there's more that all I know - thanks again for your read