Learning to Love

You never leave my mind,
and now that I'm looking back,
I wish you were never mine.
You fucked with my head
and always made me cry,
still I stayed,
and I couldn't ever hide.
Each kiss killed me more,
a sweet venom I always lusted for
but your name makes me sick,
you're always in my head.
Do you think a blade could end this shit?
If so would it be your arm or mine??
I wish I could hire a hit man,
but I don't even have a dime.
Fuck you for what you did
and everything you said.
You were just feeding lies
that were never fully fed.
you know, all I ever did was sit and listen,
just a bunch of bull shit
that made my eyes glisten.
as I was fighting the tears,
I was silently choking on my fears.
you broke me down until I was shattered,
but all I ever wanted was to feel
like I mattered.
So now I sit in spite,
trying to come up with some
deep shit to write.
isn't it funny how you're the first to pop in my brain?
fuck, just the thought of you
is enough to drive me insane.
I hate you for making me love you,
although I will admit
I'm the fool for falling,
well falling for you.
you see, in this game,
I will always lose
because now,
"she" is the one
that you will endlessly choose.