deepundergroundpoetry.com
Me
Me. me in a box of lies
in a box of fake things, a box that holds you surrounding the hope inside with lies,
Me. a person afraid to show
wondering never knowing
people give thakes to the web of lies
inside i cry,
me this wonderful person
oh how i wish to be alive
once more, plz once more
help me o why am i this o how the pain inside is growing sronger and stronger
no this cant be .... me
why cant i be the happy one but not the sad one, why cant i be the positve one not just the negitive one
all these things in my head once more im...
dead
in a box of fake things, a box that holds you surrounding the hope inside with lies,
Me. a person afraid to show
wondering never knowing
people give thakes to the web of lies
inside i cry,
me this wonderful person
oh how i wish to be alive
once more, plz once more
help me o why am i this o how the pain inside is growing sronger and stronger
no this cant be .... me
why cant i be the happy one but not the sad one, why cant i be the positve one not just the negitive one
all these things in my head once more im...
dead
Published 5th Apr 2011
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5th Apr 2011 7:36am
...this is not much fun too read...too much text-spelling...plz learn to write please...and the first image is very confusing. Who is inside what box? Confused the hell out of me.
And spellcheck the damn thing...if you don't care enough to correct the spelling, why should I care enough to read it?
Last, as a matter of style, starting a poem with a double 'me' instantly loses half your potential readers, because we don't care about a writer who is so self-involved they write mememememe...see what I mean?
You are writing of the reader, not for you...
And spellcheck the damn thing...if you don't care enough to correct the spelling, why should I care enough to read it?
Last, as a matter of style, starting a poem with a double 'me' instantly loses half your potential readers, because we don't care about a writer who is so self-involved they write mememememe...see what I mean?
You are writing of the reader, not for you...
5th Apr 2011 9:25pm
well i thank you for what you are saying... but now its my turn... i wrote the poem this way because of where i come from... i am from washington dc.... this poem is ment for younger people because of all the things that are going on in my world, and they can relate to the slang. Younger people say things like going ham, or guh. and i said plz so this means we have differet styles
