I am writing a book...opinion on this scene please

As he spoke the words, he pulled me into him. I could feel how much he wanted me. I could feel his hardness pressing into me through his jeans.
“Does this feel like a man who is not into you? Carissa I want you so badly it physically hurts. Never doubt that."
I was relieved. I was on fire. I wanted this. I wanted him and the thought, the feel of how much he wanted me too made my desire grow. I looked into his eyes. We kissed.  Kissed with a shared hunger that caused my panties to soak. He reached for the zipper on the back of my dress and slowly, painfully slowly, pulled it down. As he lowered the zipper his fingers slid across my skin and left a trail of flames with the caress. I again reached for the button of his jeans. He didn't stop me this time. He let my dress drop and pool at my feet. His erection was pressing so hard on the zipper of his jeans that I could not get it down. I slid my fingers up his torso to remove his t-shirt. He lifted his arms so I could take it off. I dropped it on the floor. I was in awe. Oh his body is so hot, so perfect. My anticipation grew.
     I stood before him in my bra and thong. He sighed and a soft moan escaped his lips. He reached down and took off his jeans. While he was stepping out of them, I bit my lip at the sight of the tent in his tight, black boxer briefs. My mouth went dry. Jason pulled me in tighter and devoured my lips. He kissed me so hard I felt sure my lips would bruise. He was an amazing kisser. My knees felt week and I wrapped my arms around his neck to help hold myself up. He reached around and unhooked my bra and slid it down my arms and let it fall to the floor with my dress.
     He grabbed me up and picked me up like I weighed nothing. He pulled me into his chest, never breaking our kiss. He carried me over to the bed and sat me on the edge. When his lips left mine I could hear myself let out a small whimper. I looked up and the want in his eyes set my entire core aflame. He removed the boxer briefs and I let out a little gasp. He was huge. Long, thick, beautiful. I found myself wondering if I could handle his size.
     I reached up to touch his erection. He was hard as steel yet his skin was so soft. When I wrapped my fingers around his shaft they didn't touch. He was so thick. I haven’t seen many, but I have never seen one so big. He was a little intimidating. He seemed to sense my concern.
“Don’t worry baby, I will take it slow. I won’t hurt you. I will make sure you are ready for me.”
This time it was me who sighed. His manhood was glistening. I wanted to taste him. As I caressed him, I leaned in to lick the tip. His passionate moan caused my need to intensify. His taste was amazing.
“Carissa” he breathed. I looked up into his eyes.
“Your mouth is amazing. If you keep that up, this will be over before we even get started.”
His words had my inner naughty girl doing a happy dance. He leaned down and feasted on my mouth. If my panties were not wet enough already, they were drenched now. He gently pushed me down on the bed, slid his fingers up my legs, over my hips, and removed my thong.
“You are beautiful Carissa.”