Cry Until Your Eyes Fall Out Of Your Skull

I remember the time that I was so strung out I tried to cut my tongue out of my mouth.  
Self doubt it's the same day everyday. Sunday, Monday, what's the difference? Saturday just has two more letters and one more syllable. Wake up, walk into the kitchen and pour your heart out into a glass. Drink up as no one is there to share the pain.  
Today I feel like taking a train, to nowhere.  
Write as many poems as you want, they're famous, you're not.  
And as usual nobody cares.  
Instead of loathing I push myself down a flight of stairs.  
Mother Nature wants to fuck me over again, thanks but no thanks.  
I stick my dick in a blender instead.  
Damnit why are you still not dead?  
Running and jumping into oncoming traffic but I'm still breathing. It's just a dent.  
Limp into the slaughterhouse, 1000 cuts of death. Still breathing.  
 
When they heard I was depressed and suicidal I just got a slap on the face. I got punched in the face. Judged and criticized, lectured constantly. So I kept going. I'm still living it on up.  
Trying, trying...  
 
If it ain't broke don't fix it but in this case if it's broke, just beat the shit out of it until all self-esteem and self respect is lost.  
 
Fucking me constantly. I don't even know if I should still be calling myself a virgin right now.  
I feel like a dog begging to be put down, but I'm just left to die slow. So I set the timer. Now we play the waiting game.