some such nonsense

some of the inner demons quiet down when you
get away from your outer demons
but we can't nulify them all
we still can't run from the greatest devil
our own minds
it runs rampant
like confused antelope being chase by tigers
trying to surive
but why?
why survive?
she follows us
antagonizes us
destroys us
tells us we need to keep breathing
to breed
to eat and to piss
why survive, dumb mistress?
haven't I listened enough?
I'm sick of your mouth and the words you inject into me
why survive?
don't you dare save my life again, you fucks
I wasn't lucky
I wasn't blessed
and I'm not strong for having survive
it goes again all logic and sense in me
you tell lies, siren
in the end I realize you don't even exist
and neither do I
I was a mistake
a bastard baby
pulled out of the black due to lethal amounts of curiousity
self-made Ggod with all the regret in the world
pull me back into darkness, my queen
this bitch, life, is drowning me with her rhetoric
of living is necessary
or other some such nonsense
save me from myself, dear one
pull me back into black
with black arms
suffocate and remind me
that the alternative
is actually the fairer of the two
the opposing twins
sisters fighting in the yin-yang
and I follow my heart
who's blacker than the darkest loneliness
I follow my heart
straight back into the dirt
ashes to ashes
black to black
follow me home, little sister