He and I

The southwest calls me
still

piercing striving
quietude,  high with
altitude, the cacti mountains
flowers
light
and the dry desert air.

father dying grief once shared family broken now here
left behind children no longer,
a revised version, facing the desolation, piecing together

pacing in the baggage like a caged animal sometimes.  
replacing all of that with a whole new sometimes.

the dead weight bereates me mostly
catches me so easy.
im ready to be less.
to disappear into the greatness
of God.

belief
like a perfect moment faded in a dream
awakened
by the agonizing remembrance
of it's ungraspable
way.

it's not a religion, a drug or new years resolution,
like love far beyond a feeling or experience
beautiful and laborious
it is the choice
to trust in God.
 
like all relationships
requiring of a commitment
challenged yet encouraged oddly comforted
by it's steady simplicity of exchange-
my faith and in return
Jesus.
Grace.

His guidance found
in how i regard
life,
what i am and what i am not,
what has been given and what has not
been given,
in how

 i let go

unto Him.