Once Upon a Midnight Dreary

Once upon a midnight dreary
Came a traveler all weak and weary
Blood shot eyes so bleak and blurry
I knew in a moment that he must be on drugs.

He walked on through the cafe door
And placed his bag upon the floor
He said he'd come from the eastern shore
I looked at him and said "fine".

He looked at me and said quite bold
You don't believe what you've been told
I show you now what treasures I hold
And maybe then you'll believe me.

This bearded man who sat within
the one with hair upon his chin
with glassy eyes and a childish grin
slowly leaned forward in his chair.

He reached into the bag below
and said "This item that I will show
shall prove to you and then you'll know
that I never lie to a stranger".

I looked at him and I said" You dip
you must be on one hell of a trip
I already know your name is Flip
now why don't you go home".

He glared at me with eyes of glue
and said" I know people that can do that too,
can pick your name from out of the blue,
But how the hell did you get mine?"