deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Garden Flame
There was a man looking
through a flower that he
had placed upon his face;
the flower was as clear as flame,
There was a mark in his eye
where an Iris kept the breadth
of reality; it made me think
as the fireflies were dancing,
There are no empty words
beneath the bitter glow;
place them into the ground
with breaks,
as vast as the deep unknown,
Fallen crests; I avail thee not
in frozen solstice of the snow,
in golden stems and alters torn;
take there withered eternal flame
and grow them for your own.
through a flower that he
had placed upon his face;
the flower was as clear as flame,
There was a mark in his eye
where an Iris kept the breadth
of reality; it made me think
as the fireflies were dancing,
There are no empty words
beneath the bitter glow;
place them into the ground
with breaks,
as vast as the deep unknown,
Fallen crests; I avail thee not
in frozen solstice of the snow,
in golden stems and alters torn;
take there withered eternal flame
and grow them for your own.
Published 3rd Jul 2014
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comments 14
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The author encourages honest critique.
3rd Jul 2014 11:04am
This has a very strong start, the first three stanzas. But around "into the ground with breaks" is starts to lose me. And I can't understand the last stanza. Is it there or their? Seems like there is strong meaning in the end, but I'm not understanding it. A confused reader that needs some help...
It is there, as in take there; whatever you see or find, take there to your garden and let it grow. It does have a strong meaning. And it doesn't come from just a poem, it comes from the person as a whole, and then there are the people that have influenced them. The deep unknown is our subconscious minds, things are pressed into our subconscious minds as a constant - we all contribute to the universal space continuum. Fallen crests are tokens of influence in words and deeds of who we chose to follow and admire. The first two stanzas are just me talking, and so thank you, that's quite a compliment. There's talking, and then there's thinking, and then there is the artistry of talking and thinking at the same time; isn't that funny? That's what makes writing and poetry so difficult at times. I hope that helps.
Anonymous
3rd Jul 2014 1:00pm
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Anonymous
3rd Jul 2014 1:05pm
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4th Jul 2014 3:56am
You always leave me something to ponder over, and I appreciate it. Thank you, Jack.
3rd Jul 2014 4:06pm
understanding, of course, isn't
enough, it's what's underlying that
gets me..:)
enough, it's what's underlying that
gets me..:)
4th Jul 2014 3:54am
3rd Jul 2014 8:07pm
As always, the images you paint just amazes me. I see these fractured images of each scene, and it's pretty cool. I like the flame symbolism, and that interacting with the winter. Good piece.
Anonymous
3rd Jul 2014 10:23pm
Wow, I'm impressed.
4th Jul 2014 3:48am
4th Jul 2014 4:01am
where is this garden where poetry grows? do you caress the soil w/Dickinson hands, watch as the sky weeps crystal drops of rain? & in time a bouquet of poems blooms, wild & fragrant...
4th Jul 2014 4:25am
If you ask the moon from where came the night,
he would never recognize his shadow,
he could only glow,
for this certain language of the poet's light,
be the only thing he knows. :)
Thank you, John for the beautiful poetry. I appreciate it.
he would never recognize his shadow,
he could only glow,
for this certain language of the poet's light,
be the only thing he knows. :)
Thank you, John for the beautiful poetry. I appreciate it.
5th Jul 2014 4:34am
brilliant construction and witty and wise - all that flowers was grown - cool writings indeed PS
