deepundergroundpoetry.com
dark teachings
the darkness.
it has mental killed me.
but yet.
I learned more then I would have without it.
as if it where guiding me.
and the pain put this question threw my head till i learned.
so its only 87% bad other then 100%.
but it sill will not just tell me WHY ME.!
it has mental killed me.
but yet.
I learned more then I would have without it.
as if it where guiding me.
and the pain put this question threw my head till i learned.
so its only 87% bad other then 100%.
but it sill will not just tell me WHY ME.!
Published 31st Mar 2011
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The author encourages honest critique.
31st Mar 2011 4:13am
Um. Look. I don't like it. It's not a poem, and there are enough grammatical and spelling errors to make me catatonic. I say it's not a poem, by the way, because there's no flow, no rhythm, and no motion. It's just words. it's just a short paragraph randonly seperated into lines. Also, this is nowhere near extreme content, so you ought to take that off. Sorry.
1st Apr 2011 9:54pm
3rd Apr 2011 11:15pm
7th Apr 2011 10:16pm
Um. Well. Actually. yeah, it does. Otherwise, it's just words- prose seperated into lines. Poetry is supposed to be rhythmic, it's one of the things that makes it unique.
At least in my opinion. Believe as you will.
At least in my opinion. Believe as you will.
Anonymous
1st Apr 2011 6:41am
A concept is certainly there, but it could use more revision (including spell check) and thought to achieve suitable flow.
3rd Apr 2011 11:18pm
i think i was something like not fully awake so i chose the wrong spell check sorry
